Disconnected Memes

The only smart thing I did today was staying sober because had I taken one sip of alcohol it would have been all over.  Thank God I know my limitations.  Sometimes I feel like the readers of my blog are the only people who understand me.  No outside this browser seems to get it, well except Sister D.

Perhaps I expect too much of the people around me, I don’t know.  I’m pretty upfront, forward and direct about what I need and want.  If I put it out there with directions and specs then I’m less likely to be disappointed.  It’s not like I’m a princess or that I’m asking for a lot but when I say that Friday, March 21, 2008 is going to be a bad day because: A, B, and C…then…HELLO?

Specifically I’m speaking about two important people in my life.  One is my husband and the other is my best friend.  The two very people I expected to get this totally fucked it up.  Neither of them said a word to me.  I mean I live with one of them.  My best friend didn’t even call me or acknowledge my e-mail or phone call.

My husband didn’t give me a hug, a kiss or even exchange a caring word with me today.  Not. One. Single. Caring. Word.  Do you understand why it’s amazing that I haven’t touched any alcohol now?

He made me realize that there has been a lack of love and caring in our relationship for a very long time.  It’s one thing to say “I love you” and it’s another to really love someone.  Words are just that…words.  I’ve felt disconnected from my husband for the past several months and I’m not sure what’s going on.

I feel disconnected from everything.

And I’ve about had it with this crap.

All this bullshit is making me want to do a week of memes…drunk.  Like, what the hell?  I’ve already blown up everyone’s feed reader three times this year, depressed the living bejeevies out of those who haven’t deleted me so….who is up for a theme week of drunken memes???

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