The Waiting Is the Hardest Part

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part
~Tom Petty, The Waiting

O.K. so perhaps posting sedated wasn’t a good idea. I seemed to have frightened everyone or something. The sedation was from the MRI I had done. Oh my God, I didn’t explain that in the post did I? I’m so claustrophobic that I had to be very sedated.

I was bummed that I wasn’t allowed to listen to music because I had to listen to them give me breathing directions. They did allow me to hold on to Chico Jo…on of my gnomads. Yes, I took a gnome with me to an MRI. You have to make these things a little fun, right? I think the technicians thought I was crazy but they were super nice considering why I was having the MRI done.

So it’s over…and now we wait…and wait…and wait.

And when I thought my situation seemed to suck one of the MRI Technicians told me about her friend’s mom. This woman has been battling ovarian cancer for 15 years and has the worst kind…Stage IV. That’s as bad as it gets. She’s undergoing chemo and radiation to fight a losing battle.

She makes me realize that no matter what’s going on in my life there’s someone else who has it worse than I do. Although it’s very sad, it’s also very humbling. I wish I didn’t need those reminders but sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own shit I can’t see clearly.

So let’s not talk about cancer for the rest of the week. Well, one last thing. Thank you. Thanks to everyone who sent Tweets wishing me luck and all the good vibes. Seriously you rock.

And so now we wait…

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Stoned

Warning: I’m heavily sedated so I’m thinking about unicorns, rainbows and how wonderful life really is. As an added bonus the Rolling Stones are playing on the radio so I this may in fact be some kind of spiritual awakening. Or the effects of the Xanax I had to take for the MRI.

My doctor the cousin called to give me the stupidest new ever. Stupid. He ran a test to check my hormonal level. Guess what it said? I’m in menopause. Hello? McFly? I’ve been in menopause since January 2005 because he performed a hysterectomy.

Then he said he had good news…everything is good with my thyroid. I would have rather heard that my thyroid is in the shitter because we could blame how I feel on the thyroid. No such luck.

You know what? I feel like a little old lady with all of these medical ailments. Really, it’s enough. What happened to life when it revolved around shopping for a killer deal on a Coach bag or a Jones New York suit? Or when I got excited that Famous Footwear was having a sale? Oh, oh, oh, or when Lancome put out the new colors for the season? The girly stuff!

What happened to getting excited over a show I was going to see? Like Sonny Landreth on April 4th. I love Sonny Landreth and really want to see him.

Well, I am excited about getting my hair done this Saturday and I’m going to attempt my first vlog. I have the feeling fuck will be every other word out of my mouth but at least I’ll look good.

O.K. this stoner needs to crash…and dream about unicorns.

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