The Great Birthday Scam
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
So it’s early Friday evening and what am I doing? Sitting on the couch in my pink flannel teddy bear pajamas and I feel pathetic. Here I am at age 41, ready for bed at 7:00 pm on a Friday evening. WTF? What happened to me?
There was a time when I was hopping in the shower at 7:00 pm on a Friday evening because the night was just beginning. Those were some crazy days full of big, teased hair…acid washed jeans with big belts and jackets with shoulder pads. Good Lord, everything had shoulder pads. My girlfriends and I all looked like circus freaks, in my opinion. Oh, we were posers too, posing for pictures whenever someone whipped out a camera. Some things are best not to see the light of day ever again…like those pictures.
I remember one Friday night when I was broke and down to $5.00 in my wallet. Since there was no way I was going to miss out on a social outing I concocted a devious plan to drink for free at the bar. I approached unsuspecting males and introduced myself…
“Hi, my name is Lisa!”
The unsuspecting male would introduce himself. I’d then offer a question…
“Guess what?”
The unsuspecting male would indulge me…
“Today is my birthday! Would you like to buy me a drink?”
In all seriousness, not one guy turned me down. In fact that $5.00 I had when I first got to the bar? Well it was $7.50 by the time I left. Someone must have given me money to buy myself a beer and I just kept the change and went on to the next unsuspecting male.
Not everything went off without a glitch though. There was Stu. He was rather insistent on getting my phone number and after about 10 to 14 beers I was adamant about not giving it to him. My girlfriends however had no problem giving writing it down. The next day he called…
Stu asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner. When he came to my house to pick me up he had flowers…for my birthday. The only problem was that it was April and my birthday is in December so I was caught in a huge lie. I had conned everyone the night before, including him, into buying me a birthday beer.
When I told Stu the truth he said, “That’s O.K. My name really isn’t Stu, it’s Harry.”
He had me for a few seconds.
Stu and I went on a few dates and dated off and on for a few years. I never played the Birthday Scam again but damn, that was one fun night!
And here I am now…ready for bed at 7:00 pm on a Friday night.
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Well it turns out that NYC Watchdog, lovingly known as Dawg, has declared this blog an Excellent Blog . There was a pageant complete with swim suit, talent and evening gown competition before he declared the winners. I got to wear the tiara! Alright, I made up the pageantry but I didn’t make up the rules:
Note: These are not in any particular order as I was interrupted by a nuclear meltdown that my 8 year old daughter was having over some cotton balls she needed…to make a goat. A goat named “Gertrude”.
I chose the following blogs for various reasons. Some I’ve been reading a few years, some a few month, but each has something different that I relate to with either some great humor or outlook on life.
Without further ado I award the following blogs the Excellent Blog Award:
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