It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory. ~W. Edwards Deming
Awestruck is a good word to describe how I feel about what I see happening in the blogging community. People whose paths would never cross otherwise have come together for one cause and I find that amazing. I don’t have words to describe how I’m feeling.
I wanted to recognize every blog that had a link to Miss Ann’s effort but there are so many now I can’t keep up. I’ve been trying to come by and thank all of you for helping but again, I just can’t keep up. You have my deepest, sincerest gratitude. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Now I wish I could share good news with you but those of you who have read my blog for a long time know…I tell it like it is. Those of you who are new should know you will always get the truth, good, bad or ugly. Sometimes life isn’t always puppies, sunshine and rainbows.
Always count on one thing though, I always seem to land out on top of the most diverse situations.
My husband and I met with the oncologist yesterday. He specializes in gynecological cancers like ovarian cancer. He was in total dismay that the cancer center I went to last year did not suggest chemotherapy. He could not believe they never contacted me, not even by letter, to follow up. The doctor asked repeatedly, “They never contacted you? They never suggested chemotherapy???”
The doctor was also surprised no one suggest chemotherapy and that there was no consultation with an oncologist while I was hospitalized for four months last year. I never gave it any thought until he mentioned it. He asked the same questions repeatedly, “No one suggested chemotherapy?” No one??”
That’s when I realized I was fucked.
He told me what I already knew but he repeated it 10 times.
“This is very, very complicated.”
It turns out that I have tumors on my liver and abdomen. This is an aggressive cancer that seems to be spreading fast. I’m inoperable although my only hope may be that Johns Hopkins is the only hospital on the East Coast that may be willing to try surgery to “debulk” the tumor in my abdomen but it’s very risky.
Using chemotherapy at this stage in the game may or may not produce good results.
So I’m on a roller coaster.
One minute I’m like, “I’m gonna die…ahhhhhhhhhh!”
The next minute I’m like, “Oh no fucking way, I’m kickin’ ass…I’ve got things to do people!”
And then I have moments of inner peace and feel that it is what it is.
People beat odds all of the time. My daughter beat every odd against her. She was 15 ounces at birth…15 ounces.
The next time you are in the Dairy Isle of your supermarket pick up the Land O’ Lakes butter. Feel the weight in the palm of your hand. My 11 year old daughter weighed less than that butter the day she was born on April 1, 2007 1997.
She dropped to 13.8 ounces on April 3, 2007 1997.
Edit: Take notice of the dates…I don’t can’t get the year my child was born right.
They told us she had a 5% chance of living and that if she in fact did live…she’d be mentally retarded and have cerebral palsy. They also told us she’d have a multitude of other medical difficulties. For ten weeks I sat by a warming bed while a ventilator kept her breathing not knowing if she would live, not knowing what kind of life she would have if she did survive.
She defied every single odd thrown against her. She survived. Today she’s healthy, smart, in fifth grade and gets A’s in school.
She’s a survivor…and so am I.
If I’m going to survive I’m going to have to make some changes. I have to be willing to go to any lengths. I have to ask myself…am I willing to do that? Can I at least make one change today? What will it be?
Junk food. Out with the crappy, fatty, shitty, processed foods that are pure junk…all of them. I mean every single one of them…even cream in my coffee. My body needs, no deserves the purest foods and nutrients it can get, right?
So, this isn’t the greatest news and I have once again left you feeling like you don’t know what to say. This is what I’d love for you to consider…consider a change. What’s one thing you could change about your life today that would make it better? No matter how big or small…what is it?
The comments today are all about change…
{ 70 comments… read them below or add one }
DutchBitch 04.04.08 at 7:01 am
OMG… I can imagine that that must’ve been a total slap (and that being the understatement of the century) in the face and you being on a rollercoaster of emotions right now.
I can only say that I am thinking about you, as is the rest of the blogging community, and wishing you all the strength that you need!
As for my own life? A change that could make it better? I would love to be able to change the fact that I have to spend so much time working to keep my financial life afloat. I wish I could do less of that and spend more time with my son.
DutchBitch’s last blog post..TGIF
Lucy 04.04.08 at 7:14 am
Well, that sucks Lisa. There is nothing else to say about this situation other than it sucks. I admire you for your attitude. I think a positive attitude like that can make a HUGE difference in what you are going through. And I think your idea of making a change for the positive is also very good.
*hugs* You are on my mind constantly right now and in my constant thoughts and prayers.
Lucy’s last blog post..KY, Here I Come!
Sister D 04.04.08 at 7:24 am
if i could change something in my life to make it better? wow, that’s an open floor if i ever saw one. hmmm … oh, open floor! i’d totally clean my room for once. i know it’s a menial thing, but you have no idea. i’m almost to the point where i have to build trails through it to get to my bed and the door. i always feel so much more in control of every other aspect of my life when i have a clean sleeping area. this would be an awesome change i think.
i’ll still be holding your hand even when i’m cleaning my pig sty … i mean, room. (it might get awkward, but i’m willing to deal with it!) call me if you need me!
Lisa 04.04.08 at 7:25 am
DutchBitch, I have made HUGE financial sacrifices so that I could work close to home and work less so that I could spend more time with my children. There was a little voice that was nagging me back in December that said, “take care of yourself and be with your family.” I’m glad I listened and most days I’m glad I’m making those sacrifices.
Lucy, I think a positive attitude can make a difference in every thing we do. I never used to believe that though.
It’s taking this for me to accept that.
Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. The blogging community has been wonderful.
Geeky Tai-Tai 04.04.08 at 7:25 am
Oh, Lisa you are such a brilliant woman!
I think one of the biggest changes I would like to make… starting this evening is to stop allowing my anxiety to cause me to procrastinate. Which essentially, leaves me paralyzed. I end up getting so angry with myself, and it’s self-defeating.
Thank you for making me really think about living life — getting through the shitty stuff the best I can, as quickly as possible, so that I will have time to enjoy the good things.
Geeky Tai-Tai’s last blog post..Sometimes We Need A Little Help from Friends
Lisa 04.04.08 at 7:27 am
sister d, Remember how my bedroom used to be a home??? Dad thought the house had been robbed one night and called me at work to see if I was missing anything!
I feel the same way about my desk, room, house. I have to de-clutter myself. I would like to see you clean with one hand.
I will call you this weekend.
Lisa 04.04.08 at 7:31 am
Geeky Tai Tai, I used to live with paralyzing anxiety until my doctor finally got through to me what anxiety is all about…FEAR of the UNKNOWN. It’s just FEAR. So you are just afraid of not having the time to get something done or not being able to do it perfectly, I imagine. I mean that’s why I procrastinate sometimes.
Especially Heather 04.04.08 at 7:39 am
You go girl! I changed my entire eating habits, I eat only organic and no meat or dairy. (You really should look at crazy sexy life) I also bought a juicer and started juicing my veggies and fruits (although I don’t drink fruit juice very often) Eat alot of greens (broccoli, celery, cucumbers, etc.) If you have the ability to buy wheat grass fresh, do it. If you don’t know where to get it, I can give you the name of a lady that sells the powder for uber cheap on Crazy Sexy Life, the raw stuff.
In other words… eat only things that came from the earth.
Every. Single. Thing. you mentioned in this post, from the “Oh my God I am going to die!” to the “It is what it is” every cancer patient has experienced and still experience today…. Just don’t want you to think you are alone in those thoughts… because you are so not (notice I abuse that word too!)
I would love to hear from you… but if you don’t have the time, I totally understand. Just know that I am praying for you and thinking about you daily..
-H
Especially Heather’s last blog post..I feel pretty, Oh so Pretty!
Nat 04.04.08 at 7:46 am
First of all I need to thank you for giving something to comment on. Because well, I am angry for you, and I am terribly sad about the whole situation. (Speechless at the same time.)
Small changes I can make today. I will focus on the things that really matter — the family and those I love. Live and let live too.
Understand that I can’t do it all and that it’s ok.
And last but not least, cut out the diet coke.
Nat’s last blog post..Tom Thompson came paddling past
Jen 04.04.08 at 8:17 am
One thing I would change - I would still be pregnant right now. I have come to accept that I lost the baby before Christmas and am finally ready to try again.
BTW - I think you’ve got your daughter’s birth year wrong in your post.
Or she’s a really smart 1 year old! 
Jen’s last blog post..For all the bacon fans?
Danalyn 04.04.08 at 8:23 am
So….THIS is not enough for a malpractice suit????
geek 04.04.08 at 8:47 am
I’m a little lost on change. My wife needs me to be a pillar and cornerstone. My littleone needs me to be a Dad. My house needs me to be a carpenter. I’m taking care of a number of elder family with there own challenges. I don’t really have the time to make changes. Small things like eating better, sure. Its about all I can do I guess.
geek’s last blog post..sigh
SJ 04.04.08 at 8:54 am
This is my first visit here (found you through Geeky Tai Tai). You’re amazing, Lisa, what strength you have! That’s the best weapon in your arsenal against The Big C. I too will be praying for your victory.
You may already know about this, but have you considered Cyberknife? Apparently they have amazing success with inoperable tumors. I don’t know where you live, but according to Google, there are Cyberknife centers all over the country.
As for what I can change in my life, I’m calling today to schedule my P&P. Haven’t had one for 5 years. My doctor gave me the paperwork two months ago, and I’ve been putting it off. Today, I stop making excuses.
SJ’s last blog post..10 Reasons Why My Friends Suck
Beth_C 04.04.08 at 9:05 am
My change for today…spend more time with my kids….looks like I’ll be working puzzles and playing with baby dolls and legos today! Thanks for the inspiration to make a change that will benefit me and my kids in the long run.
You will kick butt and you will defy the odds. I know it. I just know it.
Beth_C’s last blog post..You don’t love me as much.
Tug 04.04.08 at 9:25 am
You continue to inspire me Lisa, truly - we’re all here to support you as you kick this cancer’s ass!!
My big change started with a previous post from you as you know…I get my mamo & labs today, and have been changing my eating habits also - I’m working on the ‘healthier’ me.
Hang in there - you’ve got my number any time you need or want it!
Tug’s last blog post..Buy me a cup of coffee?*
Poppy 04.04.08 at 9:40 am
Mattie 04.04.08 at 10:13 am
I’ve sat here for 5 minutes trying to conjure up words of wisdom that could comfort you, to let you know that I ache deeply for you, and to tell you other profoundly astute stuff that could make a difference.
I got nothing.
There are no words.
I know that you will fight. I know that you will never give up.
You’ve done it before. You’ll do it again.
Mattie’s last blog post..Why Blogging Isn’t A Function - It’s A Community
radioactivegirltori 04.04.08 at 10:47 am
I’m sure someone else will or has suggested this, but have you checked out the crazy sexy cancer blog? If you can’t find it, let me know and I’ll email you the link when I can find it. She is amazing,and has tons of healthy ideas that she has incorporated in her life to make her body strong enough to fight.
radioactivegirltori’s last blog post..Imperfections
sizzle 04.04.08 at 10:50 am
I am still new here so I don’t know if I can swear in the comments but I would really like to let out a long list of cuss words. ARGH! How could those doctors have been so negligent!?
To honor your request (another good one I might add), I would change. . . I would focus more on my happiness and stop putting everyone else’s before my own. That would mean I would stop enabling my alcoholic best friend, stop supporting my sister in her deception, stop trying to feel like my mom loves me as equally as my sister (I never have felt that)… I’d just stop.
And I would take more solitary walks and practice yoga.
(You are in my thoughts.)
sizzle’s last blog post..My Weekend Starts Now
This Mom 04.04.08 at 11:03 am
You’ve got a tremendous positive attitude about what is a very fucked-up situation. I applaud your strength and courage through all of this. You’ve gone through so much, more than you should ever deserve to– and I admire you.
One thing I would– SHOULD– change? My eating habits. I need to get real with myself, and take better care of my body. ‘Nuff said.
This Mom’s last blog post..Debt Freedom Friday: 4/4/08
Angie 04.04.08 at 11:20 am
Hell, it’s not going to be easy but you have the best attitude about it, that is exactly what you should do: take care of your body, we should ALL be doing that!!!
And of course you feel scared at times and at other times you feel strong, it’s normal I think?
I read that the more you laugh, the better that is for fighting cancer. Maybe rent a few comic flicks and try? If it doesn’t help, it can’t hurt and at least you’ll be in a good mood.
BTW, I think you have the wrong date of birth for your daughter? if she’s 11 she couldn’t have been born in 2007?
hugs
Angie
Angie’s last blog post..Hace un momento…
S 04.04.08 at 11:25 am
Like you, I could stand to change my eating habits for the better–couldn’t most of us?–but I want to post my own thing.
One relatively small change I could make would be to get up earlier everyday and not hit snooze so many times. I’d feel just as rested and not as rushed, and I think it would set a better tone for my day.
You’re in my prayers.
S’s last blog post..Humanity
J. 04.04.08 at 11:38 am
I’m just catching up, so I went over to MissAnn’s and donated.
You know I love you. I don’t know what else to say besides a string of swear words.
J.’s last blog post..Listen Up
Colleen 04.04.08 at 11:39 am
Lisa,
Before I get to changes, I have a question for you..Is radiation in combo with the chemo a possibility? It can do wonders for shrinking the bulk of a tumor.
I am working on better self-care right now. I’ve been a caregiver for so long and worrying so much about others, that I’ve let that slide. I’ve started small — got a much needed haircut, brow wax and have been actually taking the time to put makeup on. Next — eating better, exercising and trying to get out and enjoy myself occasionally.
My prayers, as always, are with you.
Ms Batman 04.04.08 at 11:43 am
A year ago I changed my destiny. I packed up my two girls and moved half way across the state to get away from their abusive father, and to start a new life, one that I hoped to share with a wonderful man.
I changed my outlook, I changed my address. I changed my daughters’ idea of what love should be like. I changed my future.
My heart goes out to you. I have a 5th grader too. I can’t imagine being in your shoes. But your strength and determination and courage is something your daughter will carry with her the rest of her life.
Ms Batman’s last blog post..January 08, 2004
Sabrina 04.04.08 at 11:58 am
My thoughts are with you… you will beat this!!
One thing I would change is to stop living in a shell because I am worried about what everyone will think if I step outside of my comfort zone. I will just fucking do it!!!!!
Avitable 04.04.08 at 12:06 pm
I would change my underwear.
Avitable’s last blog post..Merciful Minerva
ocb 04.04.08 at 12:11 pm
I would change the fact that mini eggs are only sold once a year in the US.
I would also change the fact that we don’t live closer to each other. I think all blogger friends should live by each other that way we can all just gang up and camp out at each others houses like we did in grade school. Watch scary movies and run around and call boys etc hehe.
Wonderer 04.04.08 at 12:29 pm
I would change that I had to meet you through such rotten circumstances.
On a personal note: I would change being such a whiny, ungrateful bitch as of late.
Mrs. Swizzle 04.04.08 at 12:32 pm
I just started reading your blog this week…from Miss Ann’s, of course.
Yes, I don’t know what to say, but you expected that. You ARE in my thoughts daily, though.
What would I change? I’d have to agree with ocb about the mini eggs. I bought some and put them in the freezer to eat in July!
I’d also change my knee jerk reaction of saying “no” to most things without even really considering them.
Mrs. Swizzle’s last blog post..So, How Was It?
TSM 04.04.08 at 12:32 pm
Since change is a very personal thing, and not something that anyone else can decide is good or bad, I can say whatever I want!
My change would be taking small steps to get back to the close relationship with God that I used to have. I have drifted enough that I now realize I am much further away than I thought I was, and it has robbed me of the peace and joy that used to be present in my daily life. Less fear, less pain and less lonliness would be a very good thing.
Also, I would go see a naturopath and see if I could find alternate treatments for my little thing. Narcotics and alcohol are not acceptable, methinks.
Finally, GO DOWN LOAD THAT APPLICATION and get on that show!! Girl, if ever there was a time, it’s now! Don’t make me MAKE you!
Janelle 04.04.08 at 1:17 pm
Hi there! I am a newbie to your site. Brought here via “One thing I HATE about today.” Your story is amazing! You have the kind of strength I wish I could tab into.
I was all pissy today because I bounced three checks and am very pissed about it all…BUT you, YOU! snapped me right of that mood and made me take another look at things. I’m still mad about the checks and will probably fuss to my husband about it tonight and somehow figure out a way to blame him for the whole thing.
BUT you made me stop and think that bouncing checks isn’t that big of a deal. So, thank you for sharing your story with us.
Janelle’s last blog post..Because It’s Thursday and I Love You All
Tall Man Molly 04.04.08 at 1:33 pm
I don’t know, because everything that I have been through in my life has made me who I am today. I really don’t think I would change anything….not sure though. OOOh…I know….nope not that either…..OH wait…nahhh….hmmm, oh yeah….I would not have voted for W in 2000. (I was in Florida then, no chads…mine was scanned)
Tall Man Molly’s last blog post..Drinking
yoshi 04.04.08 at 1:45 pm
Thinking about you. I want to do more. I wish I knew more people so I could influence these situations. Because in this world, sometimes it’s a matter of who you know. I’ll have to think about this and see who I can contact because… seriously. ugh.
But I’d probably change the number of hours in a day. It seems like I don’t have enough of them. I need more. I know, that’s a stupid one isn’t it? holy crap, I mean who wants to work longer? LOL
yoshi’s last blog post..Read this post!
Paula 04.04.08 at 1:58 pm
Lisa, I’m so very angry at the Doctors and healthcare system. What has happened to you (and to many of my friends) is unacceptable.
I want to change two things.
1. I want to stop being a lazy sloth and exercise and take better care of myself.
2. I want to work as hard as I can, with as loud a voice I can on getting this crap healthcare/insurance system we have changed.
Sending a hug …
Paula’s last blog post..Dear Lisa
catnip 04.04.08 at 2:17 pm
The change I’m going to make? I’m going to get off my computer now, and go play legos with my boy. Sending good thoughts your way.
catnip’s last blog post..house paint help!
Colin Brooks 04.04.08 at 2:27 pm
Hi Lisa,
I could not bring myself to comment on your previous posts. I have nothing good to say and when I have nothing good to say I just shut it. I have no words to put here that I feel will ease what you are going through. In these cases I offer a very warm hug. You are too far away for me to do this so pretend I am.
I hardly know you and yet I am devastated by this. I want you to know that my thoughts are with you constantly. You ARE a survivor and I am sure you can and WILL beat this.
Very recently I decided to change my diet as well and so far it’s going okay. This is part of my plan for a healthier life. I am phasing out the junk in a week I’ll be quitting smoking and a little a few weeks after that I’m planning to start exercising.
I have never been more determined to do all this but I’ve tried to quit smoking before and it didn’t work. I’m hoping to do better this time.
Thinking of you!
Love,
Colin
Colin Brooks’s last blog post..Lisa needs our help!
Kentucky Girl 04.04.08 at 2:32 pm
Oh fuck THIS. You’re better and stronger than this stupid cancer shit.
Changes…I’ve always had an issue with giving up things that I enjoy. I don’t eat like I should always. I choose to eat a chocolate bar for dinner sometimes. I smoke even though I know it is stupid. I procrastinate and don’t go to doctor’s appointments even when I know that there have been “issues” in the past. I don’t know why I’m such an idiot about those things. So I suppose my change will be that I will make better choices rather than being a stubborn ass about it.
So…about this cancer shit…let’s get out there and kick it to the curb–for good.
Kyra 04.04.08 at 2:44 pm
Crap! I leave, and you had just had an MRI… nothing major going on. I come back and there is cancer AND new hairdos! Multi-tasking a bit?? Good grief!
I don’t know if I can keep up!
You are a survivor. Survive, just to go back and beat the heck out of the doctor who didn’t suggest Chemo.
In all seriousness, I’m sorry this is happening. Beat the hell out of it, K?
Kyra’s last blog post..There’s No Such Thing As Going Home
Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You 04.04.08 at 3:33 pm
Hmmm… I’d change my eating habits too - and I KNOW I can… I’ve done it before. It’s just hard to make the decision and then STICK TO IT. I hate change. LOL
Thanks for the update. Sure as hell wish I COULD say or do something to make that visit better.
Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You’s last blog post..Pincushion
Catherine 04.04.08 at 4:21 pm
Wow you kick my ass! I found your blog this weekend and had to read the archives. Love how you are turning this experience into something positive. Last week I quit half and half. If you knew how much I love coffee you would know how much I miss it.
Sodapop 04.04.08 at 4:27 pm
First, let me say THAT FUCKING SUCKS!!!! Sending you hugs and love from Kentucky.
As for the changes I would make? I would quit smoking once and for all instead of fighting with it like I have over the years. I’ve tried so many times and it never seems to work. Right now, that’s about it that is within my control to change
Keep your chin up, we love you!
Sodapop’s last blog post..40 years ago today
Monique 04.04.08 at 5:46 pm
Oh HELL no! I am going to send my ninja brother to PA to kick cancer’s ass!!!
What would I change? I’m already doing it, with my pursuit of weight-loss surgery. Time for most of Miss Monique to go bye-bye.
Hmmm I’d also like to change the fact that the guy I met last year with the really big dick broke up with me before we had sex! LOL
Monique’s last blog post..I’m a Sad Little Monique
annie 04.04.08 at 6:47 pm
Your food change is a very good decision. I’ve often been shocked that when someone is dealing with a disease (except maybe, diabetes) that food is never discussed. I’ve seen many friends, including one with cancer, on very bad diets, McDonald’s, sodas, etc. I said “Didn’t the doctor say anything to you about your diet?” Nope.
That’s a very smart thing to change, Lisa.
annie’s last blog post..For Lisa
diz 04.04.08 at 8:09 pm
I hate doctors. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaate. And the fact that they didn’t do the proper things when it came to you? Does not give me faith in them. I know that not all of them are worth my mistrust, but some of them are.
What would I change? Hm. I’d like to have a second shot at my childhood, with the knowledge I have now. Self-esteem and insecurity runs deep, and it’d be easier to nip that stuff in the bud early.
Changing your diet is hard, and kudos to ya for making the decision to. I wish it were easier to not stuff my face with a can of Pringles. It’s something I struggle with.
diz’s last blog post..Read this entry and help Lisa
Lisa 04.04.08 at 8:41 pm
It’s nice to know that so many of you want to make the same change that I do because changing my eating habits is going to be extremely hard. I love junk food.
Thank you for suggesting Chris Carr’s site. I remember watching her documentary over the summer but never thought I’d ever have to rely on her because I thought I had this beat. I’ll be doing a lot of research tonight and this weekend.
Because I’ll be doing a lot of research you’ll notice I’m not making individual comments to everyone like I normally do. I hope you understand that it’s not because I don’t value your comments…I read each and every one of them and they are what is carrying me through this.
As far as the medical community is concerned…I’ve been dealing with fragmented health care for the past four years. I’ve been a difficult case of ovarian cancer since the very beginning. Perhaps that’s the reason. Some of my doctors have left Pennsylvania…that could be another reason.
I’ve learned the hard way that I have to be my own advocate. No one will do it for me.
Or you…always advocate for yourself. When a doctor doesn’t listen to you go find one that will. Your life could depend on it.
Hilly 04.04.08 at 9:12 pm
I wanted to comment this morning but was too tired to give you a proper message :). First of all, I just want to say that my love and my prayers are still with you.
As far as changes go, I want to just figure out how to love myself more, no matter what else. I may be overweight and imperfect but I have got to stop hating who I am because of that and start loving my insides a little more.
Hilly’s last blog post..Because Life’s Big Clusterfooks Are Not Always About Me….
Lisa 04.04.08 at 9:14 pm
I admire you very much, Lisa. One thing I would change would be to have the never-give-up spirit you seem to embody.
I would also spend a lot less time carrying useless guilt and a lot more time living in the moment. I can’t change what has already happened, why do I have to keep re-hashing it?
Lisa’s last blog post..A Wee Tipple
Karen Sugarpants 04.04.08 at 9:16 pm
I think it’s a great idea what you’re going to do with the food. We shop mainly on the outer perimeter of the store - produce, dairy, meat - not a lot of boxed crap. Stuff that parishes fast means more trips to the grocery store but fresh food is awesome. I can send you some of the healthy blogs I’ve found recently if you’re interested!
One thing I’ve changed in the last 6 months is to say what I mean instead of what people want to hear. That and going to the gym and stuff.
Karen Sugarpants’s last blog post..Angry
Miss Ilexa 04.04.08 at 9:22 pm
Change - I will spend more time away from this computer and more time with my 2 kiddos and my dear Gunman.
I have no words of inspiration, no words of advice. All I have is lots and lots of prayers and positive thinking.
Lisa 04.04.08 at 9:28 pm
I have the most incredible scars on my body from all of the surgeries of last year and years before that including the hysterectomy and two c-sections. Not only that I’ve gained and lost weight a gazillion times.
My body is the most imperfect body in the entire world and I’m comfortable in it…finally at age 41. And I have a big huge ass.
Karen…I would love the links to the healthy blogs…
Divalicious 04.04.08 at 9:46 pm
Hi sweetie, I’m a surviver too. When I as born I was a Preemie and very small. I almost didn’t make it. My mom also sat by a warming bed for weeks.
Anyway, I am behind you and here if you need anything. <3
Divalicious’s last blog post..Lisa’s diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer for the 3rd time. Help!
cajunvegan 04.04.08 at 9:51 pm
My new year’s resolution was/is to “be the change.”
Coincidentally, and prior to reading your post, I mentioned it on my blog today.
Lisa, you are so much stronger than I think I could be right now. I admire you. I support you. I promise to keep my resolution in honor of your struggle.
cajunvegan’s last blog post..The Slap Heard ?Round the Hood
basteine 04.04.08 at 11:11 pm
Lisa, We had our appointment at hopkins today. News can never be good or bad it seems just a mixed bag. If you want to know our impressions of hopkins send me an email. basteine@yahoo.com
Crystal 04.04.08 at 11:22 pm
I would quit my job and spend all my free time blowing bubbles and playing kiss chase with my kids.
I should do that.
I wish you wellness and peace and … well, you already have love.
Crystal
Crystal’s last blog post..She’s Going To Disneyland Even If I Have To Sell Homemade Porn (can you get to Disneyland on $6?)
That Bitchy Chick 04.05.08 at 1:01 am
What am I going to change for me? I’m going to quit smoking. No if’s, no maybe’s, and no trying…I’m going to do it. I owe myself that! You are in my prayers each and every day and I know that the fighter that is within you will prevail!
That Bitchy Chick’s last blog post..Who’d have thunk it
jane 04.05.08 at 1:51 am
I can see how you do end up on top against all odds. You’ve got the mind & heart of a fighter.
Okay Lisa, you are being 110% honest on your blog. You want to know what we will make an effort to change, so I’m going to tell you, despite my fear of what others may think of me. This is actually something my therapist & I talked about last week. So, here goes:
I am going to stop believing that I’m unlovable & start believing that I am lovable. It’s something I’ve believed since my earliest recollections.
This morning when I read your blog I couldn’t think of anything. Then I remembered. So there you have it. My change that will change my life.
Thank you for being inspirational.
Penelope 04.05.08 at 4:39 am
With the time differences and my procrastination I always get here so late!
I love that you change each negative into a positive for yourself and your readers. You are truly inspiring Lisa.
As far as me changing something, I’m going to try to stop letting stupid little worries overwhelm me. Too much of that lately. I’m going to take 1 thing at a time and get it done!
Penelope’s last blog post..We’re on holiday!
Geeky Tai-Tai 04.05.08 at 5:30 am
Oh, you’re so correctomundo on that one! Most of the time for me it’s: perfectionism + procrastination = paralysis! It’s just dealing with government forms and customs, SCARY, but I’m muddling through
Geeky Tai-Tai’s last blog post..This is a tough post for me to write
Miss Britt 04.05.08 at 7:26 am
#1 - if you respond to my comment because you think you have to, I will punch you. K?
#2 - I am sooo not at a loss for words here. You inspire in me pages upon pages. But I’ll try to be brief.
Let me tell you just some of the changes you’ve inspired in me:
*Remember to be grateful.
*Hold my babies when they wake me up at 5 am, and thank God we have this day together.
*Take out the roller skates and TRY. And be glad you have the chance to try.
*Quit smoking. (OK, I’m doing this after my in-laws leave because I am still human, but still! counts!)
Lisa, your honesty and courage through all of this is amazing. And I meant what I said the other day - I am so fucking proud of you.
If I could give you my liver, I would. Wait - can you do that??
Miss Britt’s last blog post..100 Things: Part 9
Dimplz 04.05.08 at 7:37 am
I have lupus and I have changed to an almost vegan diet, at least most of the time. When I eat healthy foods I feel a lot better! Also, I do the visualizing thing. Visualizing your body beating this…the mind is very powerful.
Stay strong, you are in my prayers.
Dimplz’s last blog post..“oops” moments…
Christi 04.05.08 at 11:34 am
Just found your blog and am praying for you! Today I will change by drinking more water!!
Christi’s last blog post..The interview went well!
Jeni 04.05.08 at 12:26 pm
Hi - I found your site through HIlly and just wanted to say I’m thinking of you and sending all the good vibes I can your way. Today I’m going to stop worrying about what “could” happen or what “might” happen and just focus on all of the joys I have in my life this very minute.
Jeni’s last blog post..Friday
Karl 04.05.08 at 12:35 pm
Well, hell, if everyone is going to make me look bad by changing themselves for the better, what the hell am *I* supposed to do? Argh, I need to quit smoking. Lose weight. Get my diabetes under control.
My prayers are certainly with you, Lisa. So glad I found your blog.
Karl’s last blog post..SecondHand Radio: Kyra is My Special Guest
Christine 04.05.08 at 12:49 pm
I wish I knew exactly what to say, I always want to make people feel better. Just know, that I will be praying for you, and keeping you in my thoughts, and hope that you can beat this, again! Your positivity, will help you!
I am so glad that I found your blog, and will continue this journey with you! You are not alone in this fight…
Jo 04.05.08 at 5:48 pm
Hang in there. I know that sounds so cliche and “simple” but some days all you can do is hang in there. I just wanted to share two of my favorite quotes with you. I hope they can mean something/help you a little too.
“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”
and “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years”.
Jo’s last blog post..Update on Breast Lump and Node in Neck
jane 04.05.08 at 11:27 pm
Jo, I absolutely love that quote. I hope you don’t mind, but somehow I am going to hijack it & integrate it into my blog. I think it’s gonna become my life’s mantra. Skidding sideways into homeplate with chocolate in 1 hand; it doesn’t get much better than that!
Selma 04.06.08 at 9:27 am
I found you via Hilly. Your courage is inspiring. There are a few aspects of my life I would like to change but the major thing I need to do is to forgive someone I have avoided forgiving for years. It’s time. Thank you for the push. God bless.
Selma’s last blog post..Poked And Prodded
Incurable Insomniac 04.06.08 at 1:50 pm
I don’t know that I’d change anything. About 10 years ago I had an epiphany that every day is a brand new life and that I should live one day at a time. If I make a mistake I forgive myself for being human and try to learn from the lesson. It’s not perfect, but it keeps me from dwelling on regrets and accepting a sense that I’ve fucked up.
As for things I can’t control, well, I try not to dwell on them, either, and I admit that I’m not so adept at that.
My thoughts and energies are with you!
Steph
Incurable Insomniac’s last blog post..Love, Actually
Shelli 04.07.08 at 10:08 pm
You are amazing. I’m thinking about you and doing what I can.
Shelli’s last blog post..My Baby Girl