Tired

Exhaustion finally bit me in the ass around 7:00 pm last night. My poor eight year old had to crawl into bed with me so that she could watch television while Dude and Cam were at karate. I mean, what kind of mother leaves their child downstairs all by themselves as night fall is approaching? To me, that is sad and scary.

Poor little Teenie. She just doesn’t understand why I’m so tired or sick because I haven’t told her that I have cancer yet. No, I still haven’t told her. When I look into those big, brown, puppy dog eyes of hers I melt.

I just don’t have the heart to cause her any pain or disappointment. Teenie is my little soul mate. That child is 100% me but a little more twisted and a lot more kinder.

Then there is Cam. That poor child still remembers when what life was like when Dude and I separated when she was four. Never underestimate the impact something like that has on a child that young.

She’s an old soul though…wise beyond her years, keeps it real. Maybe she’s learned from the best on reality. When I look into those beautiful green cat-eyes I don’t have the heart to tell her I’m sick but I know she knows. I’m just keeping the truth from her.

Dude wants to wait until we have the results of the biopsy. I’m of the thought that cancer is cancer and the biopsy doesn’t change too much. I feel like we are just delaying the inevitable. Either way I pray that they have the strength to handle it.

I could know as early as today what the results are. It’s cancer, what more is there to know??? Duh. I’m not sure why we need to rub more salt in my wounds. Perhaps I’m missing the point. I guess they need to know how to treat it.

I have the feeling I’ll have to go back for another biopsy anyway because they like forgot to do my, uh, liver. Yes, that’s what I was primarily there for. I asked and they told me it wasn’t on their orders. Cheese on crackers, WTF?

An aside…bracelets? I usually make them on the weekends but if I can pull an ounce of energy out of my body during the week I’ll make some during the week.  I have to remember there is no “S” on my chest and I’m not wearing a cape.  I forget that very often…

Thanks for helping me out so quickly…they sold out in an hour!!! More to come!

Now I need to find some energy. God, where is it going??? I take a multivitamin. Are there any “super foods” that would give me energy?  I feel like I’m going to fall asleep and I just got a full night of sleep.

Uh, a cup of coffee and a shower do a multitude of good…duh.  I feel much better now however I’d still love to know if you recommend any type of energy boosters!

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