Exhaustion finally bit me in the ass around 7:00 pm last night. My poor eight year old had to crawl into bed with me so that she could watch television while Dude and Cam were at karate. I mean, what kind of mother leaves their child downstairs all by themselves as night fall is approaching? To me, that is sad and scary.
Poor little Teenie. She just doesn’t understand why I’m so tired or sick because I haven’t told her that I have cancer yet. No, I still haven’t told her. When I look into those big, brown, puppy dog eyes of hers I melt.
I just don’t have the heart to cause her any pain or disappointment. Teenie is my little soul mate. That child is 100% me but a little more twisted and a lot more kinder.
Then there is Cam. That poor child still remembers when what life was like when Dude and I separated when she was four. Never underestimate the impact something like that has on a child that young.
She’s an old soul though…wise beyond her years, keeps it real. Maybe she’s learned from the best on reality. When I look into those beautiful green cat-eyes I don’t have the heart to tell her I’m sick but I know she knows. I’m just keeping the truth from her.
Dude wants to wait until we have the results of the biopsy. I’m of the thought that cancer is cancer and the biopsy doesn’t change too much. I feel like we are just delaying the inevitable. Either way I pray that they have the strength to handle it.
I could know as early as today what the results are. It’s cancer, what more is there to know??? Duh. I’m not sure why we need to rub more salt in my wounds. Perhaps I’m missing the point. I guess they need to know how to treat it.
I have the feeling I’ll have to go back for another biopsy anyway because they like forgot to do my, uh, liver. Yes, that’s what I was primarily there for. I asked and they told me it wasn’t on their orders. Cheese on crackers, WTF?
An aside…bracelets? I usually make them on the weekends but if I can pull an ounce of energy out of my body during the week I’ll make some during the week. I have to remember there is no “S” on my chest and I’m not wearing a cape. I forget that very often…
Thanks for helping me out so quickly…they sold out in an hour!!! More to come!
Now I need to find some energy. God, where is it going??? I take a multivitamin. Are there any “super foods” that would give me energy? I feel like I’m going to fall asleep and I just got a full night of sleep.
Uh, a cup of coffee and a shower do a multitude of good…duh. I feel much better now however I’d still love to know if you recommend any type of energy boosters!
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
those five hour energy booster things seem to help.. just enough liquid that you feel your downing a hefty size shot… taste like shit unless you like bitter. You find them at GNC for a few cents. (at least here) I use them occationally when there is something I absolutley must do but just dont have the energy. No hard crash no jitters and pinging off the walls… So I like them for now, just taste disgusting..
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Hang in there. I sent you an e-mail. We’re out here for ya.
geek’s last blog post..becouse I got nuthin
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I don’t have any advice really, just wanted you to know I sympathize your dilemma with Teeny.
I’m here for you though. xo
Karen Sugarpants’s last blog post..Keeping Up With The Boys
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WTF with ‘not on the orders’?? Holy hell, these things never cease to amaze me. Hang in there…we’re all here helping to hold you up.
I can’t help with the energy stuff, but truly think multi vitamins need to be more like speed so I at least know they’re doing something.
Tug’s last blog post..What do YOU do when you’re bored?
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The best energy booster for me is a Sobe Green Tea. I usually get the Lean Tea version because I like it better, and don’t get the sugar crash later. I swear by the stuff!
SJ’s last blog post..YouTube: Hotbed of intellectuals
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I wish I had advice too but I don’t…this has to be a very hard situation and I know that you are handling it the best way that you can right now. Lots of love…
Hilly’s last blog post..Virgins Always Get Backstage, No Matter What They’ve Got To Say….
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GNC multi-vitamin packs. Comes in a purple box. It has it all in it! (I take them daily)
For an extra boost, (although I have no idea how healthy it is) Monster drink. Another one that boasts extra energy, and little to no carbs.
I know how important it is for you to get your rest Lisa; but if I’m brutally honest, get a script of percocet for pain. It not only helps with pain, but will boost your energy levels so you can be there for your precious babes.
I want you to know you’ve been in my prayers and will continue to remain there, Lisa. My family as a whole prays for you in the evening as well.
Sending our love and prayers,
3T & Family
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hey lady,
i would try the naked fruit juices. you get a million good vitamins and fruits and veggies and it doesn’t take forever to drink it. plus they taste awesome. i get the green machine whenever i’m dragging ass. it looks super creepy, but does the trick.
give me a call when you get the results and we can chat. i’m around for you all day!
love you,
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A Boosterjuice smoothie with protein powder gives energy and I have it for a treat instead of lunch when I’m at the mall. Very tasty.
Val
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I have to agree with the naked fruit juices. They taste awesome and you’re getting lots of good stuff in them.
gypsy’s last blog post..I’m Doomed!
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Thinking of you … hope you get more energy today!
whymommy’s last blog post..The how and the why
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Wheatgrass juice.
Besides being claimed to be a cancer fighter, it cleanses the liver and prevents hair loss and helps with menopause, (unless you’re done with those symptoms, I don’t know).
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Like everyone else, I agree that by eating healthy foods, you will feel somewhat better. My heart goes out to your girls…my girls are 9 and 5 (and my son is 3). It would break my heart to tell them that I was sick. I can understand your fear of telling them, again. You have been there before, and you know that kids are honest, and will talk to you, and will be there for you. My philosophy is honesty is the best policy. almost 3 years ago, I had to tell my oldest that my step grandfather, passed away. It was her first experience of facing death of a loved one. I was so nervous, how was I going to tell her, how was she going to react, was she going to understand? (she was 6 1/2) You know what? She really understood it more than I thought she would. We talked about it and it helped her to feel better. My anxiety of the act of telling, was far worse than the actual act of telling her. Kids are pretty amazing! I know it isn’t the same, as telling them that mom is sick. But, I hope that you know that you have support here, from your readers to help you get through all of this!
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Allison/Sissy, I’m not familiar with the energy boosters from GNC. I know how much I hate the drinks like Red Bull that make you crash. I mean they are great while they last but WOW, when they wear off BAM!
geek, Was this the email about the thing that I responded to? Wait, did I respond? I told you I’m tired. I know I thought of a response…I wrote one…I bet I didn’t send it.
Karen, When I read it back it sounds as if my oldest child may sound as if she is less important…and that’s not the case. I have a different bond with each of my girls. Dude has the “soul” bond with Cam. I have the “soul” with Teenie. I think every parent has that relationship but many don’t discuss it. Like how can they possibly not have the same exact relationship.
Just keeping it real.
Tug, I got clarification on that today. It apparently was on the orders and the doctor didn’t explain that to me correctly. They weren’t able to do a biopsy of the tumors on my liver…but they were on the order.
SJ, I looked for the Sobe Tea at lunch time today…:( and couldn’t find it at the store where I was. I’ll have to look at another store.
Hilly, That’s all we can ask, right? To do the best we can… I take it hour by hour.
3T, I invested in a very good multivitamin today…not just a One A Day but an a much better one. Of course that was after I saw your comment on my iPhone
I’ve been avoiding Percocet and painkillers in general after the hospital had me addicted to Dilaudin last year. The pain is starting to wear me down though.
3T, I am so incredibly touched that you and your family have been praying for me. I don’t think there are words to thank you. The only think I can do is fight my battle.
sister d, Hey Lady…why do I always here Jerry Lewis saying that? I love the Naked Juices. Sometimes I run to the Giant that’s up the street from work to get them for lunch. I’ve had the green one…ugh.
I should have the results sometime tomorrow so I’ll give you a call from my office. I’ll be there all alone
Val, Boosterjuice??? I’ve never heard of it!
gypsy, Yes, I like the Naked Juices too. Have you ever read the side of the bottle? Quite entertaining…good marketing.
whymommy, Thanks. I know this is just the beginning.
annie, I’m all over the wheatgrass thing. Did some research after I read your comment. I could even grow my own wheatgrass at home. All you had to say was “liver” and I jumped all over Google.
Christine, I really appreciated your comment. Especially after my youngest daughter overheard me on the phone speaking with a doctor. Kids are more resilient than we give them credit for however there comes a time when there’s too much for them to go through. I feel that this is too much however my husband and I will help them through it.
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I’m thinking wait til after the trip. That way they have that one really good time before Mommy got sick again.
Ya know?
Miss Ann Thrope’s last blog post..What pine tree?
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Miss Ann, I have has the same exact thought! That way we can go an they can absorb all the love and all the fun without a single, solitary care in the world except which ride to go on next.
I just want to go on the House of Terror without Xanax.
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I’m totally going to sound like a knob suggesting this, but try Xango. It’s a health juice made entirely of fruits and good things
pregnant women can take it, unlike other health juices. It increases energy and helps build up your immune system, among other things. You can even take it with regular prescribed medications.
Check it out, it gives me tons of energy. Same with everyone I know who tries it
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MMMmmm, I loves me some Tower of Terror. I agree, perhaps it’s better to wait until after Disney. Course, if they come right out and ask you, that’s a different story. I’m thrilled you’re going to Disney.
Karl’s last blog post..Why I Cannot Stand Your Blog (2008 Edition)
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You know, kids process things differently. One of our neighbors has battled breast cancer for awhile and I was struck by a conversation I had with her 8 year old daughter this last summer. She was over playing with my kids and she casually mentioned, “Yeah, my mom has cancer again. It’s just something she gets sometimes. She’ll be fine.” She then continued to play on the slip and slide. The funny thing is, I’d had conversations with the mom and she was adamant that her kids NOT know that she dealing with cancer. I didn’t mention it to her child — her child casually mentioned it to me.
Your kids KNOW already. It is nothing you really have to tell them — but it is something you will probably have to discuss soon so they have REAL information. Sometimes, things get a little backwards in their brains because of all the information they are bombarded with via the news, school, friends, and snippets of our conversations.
I’ve had some pretty tough conversations with my little ones lately and I have to say, they are WAY tougher, braver and SMARTER than their mommy.
Take my experiences for what they are — my experiences. My prayers are with you.
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Sarcastica, I’ve never heard of it before but I’m going to see where I can find it. Energy, immune system? I’m totally down with all of those things!!! Thanks for the suggestion.
Karl, That’s what I meant … the Tower of Terror. It scared the living crap out of me the first time and I swore I’d NEVER go on it again. I’m going to go on that an roller coasters. I am terrified of roller coasters. TERRIFIED!
Except I just realized that I’ll have to go on them alone because Dude will have to stay with the kids. Oh no.
Colleen, That little girls response to her mother’s breast cancer sounds so much like what my daughter might say. I’m with you…I think they already know because I’ve been going to the doctor, doctors have been calling and there have been conversations going on around them. They know I haven’t been feeling well.
Parenting…UGH…where’s the book?
Lisa’s last blog post..Tired
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Also great for the liver? Milk Thistle. My brother-in-law credits it with saving his life. He was critically ill with Hepatitis C in 2002, and had pretty much given up. We started him on a super-potent liquid form of milk thistle. He said it was the vilest thing he ever tasted, but it really helped him. His Hep-C went into remission, and now it’s like he doesn’t even have it.
He was also taking colloidal silver at the same time, though. I don’t know much about that stuff.
SJ’s last blog post..YouTube: Hotbed of intellectuals
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Lisa,
I’ve already commented on this thread so forgive me. However, I’ve been trying to remember the name of a chinese herb that may help boost the immune system and make chemotherapy MORE effective. I finally remembered the name — astragalus. Here is a link that gives a little information about it: http://www.cancer.org/docroot/ETO/content/ETO_5_3x_Astragalus.asp
You might want to ask your doctor about it.
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Yes you sent it. Its all good! get some rest.
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SJ, I’ve never heard of Milk Thistle but I’m certainly going to check it out. Anything that can help my liver is worth looking into so I thank you very much for the information.
How wonderful is that for your brother-in-law???
Colleen, No limit on commenting here. In fact for you…you can comment 2,000 times on the same post before I cut you off
Thanks for the link…the ACS has some great info and I always forget that. I only volunteered for them for three years.
geek, Thanks for keeping me on track. Geez
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Um, my best suggestions for energy always involve a nap.
Miss Britt’s last blog post..The Great Birthday Debate
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Miss Britt, I’m not sure if you took notice of the picture in my Flickr feed but I look pretty damn tired…I was at work and wanted to nap under my desk.
If I could nap for 30 minutes a day I think I’d feel a hell of a lot better.
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Let it wait until you know exactly what kind of ass you’re kicking. And from a child that new EVERYTHING well before my parents ever told me (yeah THAT didn’t go to my head as a teenager lol) I’m sure Cam does know. Or at least suspects it well enough to not be surprised.
I can’t wait to see the bracelets when you finish them. I’d love to get one. (Apparently it’s going to be determined by my timing lol)
Have a great day when you read this! And ya know what really helps me have energy? Watching tv and eating M&Ms lol
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Lily, You are probably very right. The kids know that I’m sick again and I’m sure they know that it’s cancer. We just haven’t confirmed it. It’s probably worse that we haven’t just come out and told them.
I’ll probably made about 10 bracelets on Friday night and post them Saturday morning. I can’t imagine that they will go that quickly.
The M&Ms are going to kill me if I eat too many of them!!! I wanted to have them for breakfast.
Lisa’s last blog post..Look Ma, I Got a Tiara!
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