Excuses, Excuses

It is the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter. ~Marlene Dietrich

Since sharing the news that I have cancer again I’ve received a tremendous amount of support, especially from the blogging community. Believe me when I say that without that support and the fact that you have given me the opportunity to take my children to Disney, I’d be a complete basket case right now. I’ve managed to stay strong and keep my chin up despite the daily jabs life throws at me.

Yesterday brought me to my knees praying to God, yes, praying, to God. Me, the woman of little faith, fell to my knees praying and sobbing. It all seemed to be too much last night.

A few weeks ago I told one of my best friends I have cancer and his exact words were,

“I was there everyday to support you last year and I’ll be here this time too.”

Then he vanished from the scene. I didn’t receive a phone call from him and he certainly wasn’t returning any of my calls. I sent him and e-mail and received no response until I sent one yesterday that said, “So, what’s your excuse this time?”

You see, there’s always been an excuse when he vanishes from the scene. My guess was that he’d take the e-mail one of two ways…right or wrong. He took it wrong and what ensued was a day of vicious e-mailing. By the end of the day I was so stressed out I was in physical pain and he had blocked my e-mail address.

Can you imagine telling your best friend, who has cancer, that life was so peaceful because you hadn’t talked to her in two weeks? Who says that to someone they call a friend? Who says that to someone with cancer? If I understood why he is angry with me then I could look at this objectively but I don’t get it.

He should consider himself lucky because I really want to post his e-mail address for everyone to have a free-for-all and let him have it.

So after dealing with e-mails all day after I was at work I had to go for a full body CT scan at the hospital because the doctor wants to know where else cancer is hiding out. He also wants to know how bad my lungs are as well. This just added more stress and by the time I laid down on the CT scan table I was in so much pain my eyes were watering.

Finally I was home by 8:00 pm and I was exhausted. I found a wonderful card from Anneliese and a check from Miss Ann. With the final check from the Disney raffle plus the previous check, a large donation from Avitable and direct donations from many other people you have donated almost $5,200.

Now I do not have to worry about salary I won’t get paid while I’m away…whew!

So, why exactly did I fall to my knees and pray to God? Because I know that I have true friends, some for 35 years, some a few months, some offline, some online…that no matter what would never treat me the way one inconsiderate asshole who can’t wait until I die from cancer so that he’ll have permanent peace from my big mouth which “blows hot air”.

Want his e-mail address now?

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