No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow. ~Euripides
Yesterday I had the pleasure of being a guest on Karl’s radio show called Secondhand Radio. If you missed the show you can listen to it here:
We covered all kinds of subjects from kids, music, and the blogging community, just to name a few.
An interesting topic came up in our discussion. What happens to our blogs in the event something happens to us? For instance, you know that I have cancer. What if I end up in the hospital or suddenly pass away? How would you know?
This is something I’ve been thinking about for quite a while actually. The hosting of my site is paid for the next two years give or take a month. I did that…just in case but what about a final post? What would I want my final words to the blogging community to be? The thought of my blog abruptly ending some day with a post of how pissed off I am at some institution seems disheartening.
Although it’s typical Clusterfook fashion.
In light of that discussion I’ve given Karl “Power of Blog”…kinda like Power of Attorney, except insert “Blog” where “Attorney” stands. I’ve told Dude that in the event something happens he should contact Karl either by phone or email and Karl then has Power of Blog to get the news out.
I realize it sounds kind of morbid but don’t you ever wonder what has happened to a blogger who has just disappeared? All of us are going to die and in my case I’d want you to know what happened.
And of course a final post is my way of getting in the last word…
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Not morbid, practical. I had major surgery about 3 weeks ago, and I was terrified. So, I wrote letters to my husband and children. But IN my letter to my husband was a list of sites and such, and what to do. My blog is on blogger, and it’s free – so it’s kinda forever. I told him he was welcome to look through and print off anything he felt was worthwhile (unlikely) but then to just delete it all. End the blog and erase it.
My blog is nowhere near a complete picture of who I am. If it was taken in the light of me as an end all be all, it would be a poor thing left to my children. So, I want it gone. I would rather the words they read in my letter to them be remembered over my whining on my blog.
Kyras last blog post..An Outsider In
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Kyra, I understand exactly what you are saying. Just as this blog represents a fraction of who I am, but a pretty large fraction of who I am, I know that my children will never read it.
If something happens to me before my hosting expires then I would just want there to be some kind of ending. I guess it’s just where I am in life. I’m sure I would quickly fade into Internet dust and be quickly forgotten but at least there would be some sort of closure.
Do you think your readers deserve that?
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Thanks for making sure that is taken care of. When Cancerbaby was very sick and finally died it was good to hear about it definitively. We all knew what was going to happen so even if she’d just tapered off we would have known but it (selfishly) felt better to know for sure. It wasn’t enough, I wanted more of her, but it was the best of the choices.
Kizzs last blog post..The Same Tune
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Get your last word. No one can talk back then.
MrsRobbieDs last blog post..When its ok…
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I think it’s an awesome idea.
I read a couple of other blogs too, where someone has cancer, and have wondered “how would I know if they passed?”
So, I love your idea! And Karl is totally awesome to be willing to do the post for you!
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I have thought of that, too. My husband wouldn’t have a clue what to do with it. I think I would ask Finn to have power of blog for me. I also think about the financial aspect of it. How would my husband figure out how to cancel my webhost and domain name or whatever? Or would he just keep renewing it so that it would always be there. Maybe one of my kids could take over. Rename it or something. Like I said, it’s something that I have thought a lot about, too.
Shellis last blog post..Insomnia
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I echo Kizz, Cancerbaby came to mind when I read your post. It was gut wrenching to read what I believe was her husband’s voice telling us about her passing. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have to write that. I’d be relieved to know Dude had been spared that task.
Lalas last blog post..#941 saaaad
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I don’t have any major health issues, but I totally think about that. Maybe because I have read bloggers who died, and I got to read their final posts, but also notes from their friends/family.
I don’t know what I’ll do with my blog, eventually. But I think I would like my daughter to read it, if she wants to. It’s not the complete picture, but it is a part of me. I write a lot about memories, my theories, tributes to family and friends, and I chronicle the absolute fun I have. That’s stuff worth her reading.
EDWs last blog post..Let’s just kiss and say goodbye
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I don’t think this is morbid either. My husband and I have had the same discussions, many times. Probably because we’re older. I have all of my user names and passwords in a password-protected spreadsheet. Whenever I make changes to it, I email it to him, just in case because I take care of the finances and household stuff, but it never occurred to me that I should have a “Power of Blog”. You’ve got me thinking, you always do.
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I agree with PP sounds practical to me. My sister has POB over my little part of the internet if anything was to happen to me.
Valeries last blog post..Getting Out
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Lisa, I think you’re right on. We have a small financial planning business and the best gift you can leave your family is to have your wishes clearly defined. That releaves them of having to make those decisions. Good job.
BTW…I’m sending all my cancer ASS KICKIN’ vibes your way. Go Get ‘EM.
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Hey that isn’t morbid, it is a well laid out plan. But, I am hoping that all your treatments work, and thay you are around to blog for a long time, because, I really enjoy reading your blog!
Christines last blog post..The last day of third grade!
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I think it was a great topic of discussion and one that we need to open up about.
By the way, the whole show was great and we are SOOOO going to bedazzle that turban
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Hillys last blog post..Tiny Little Pieces Of The Girl….
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I’m still surprised that you asked that of me. Very touched and honored.
I’ve also been thinking of the movie “My Life” with Michael Keaton. I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but it was gutwrenching for me. He’s dying and he’s got a baby on the way, so he films tons of videos of himself giving life lessons to his unborn child. Things like how to shave, videos of himself to be seen on big occasions like graduating high school and getting married, etc.
I’ve thought about making videos, too. That would be pretty cool, having video posts from beyond the grave for my loved ones.
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Promise you’ll be funny? *mwah* love the bracelets!! My girls want to steal them.
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That makes me sad.
But actually, we should ALL have Power of Attorney and yes, Power of Blog set up, cuz we never know, do we?
annies last blog post..I Feel I Must Change the Tone of this Blog
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It’s a sad thing to think of but I think of it often. I don’t have too many readers, but I’d like my last word out there when and if the time came. I need more tech-savvy friends so I can give them the power.
I’d want to write letters. Or make videos. Or something. Karl mentioned My Life and that movie is just… wow. No words.
Dizs last blog post..George Carlin
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Kizz, Cancerbaby was exactly who came to mind. I can’t tell you how many times I went back to her blog and read her entries after she was gone. I was so sad and when I heard her blog was going to come down right away I was really sad.
I was relieved when months later I saw it still there.
MrsRobbieD, Well, you just made me think because comments will be left open so I guess it’s you guys who get the last word but I get the last post…
Kate, Last year I disappeared for a few months when I was hospitalized and fortunately another blogger had access to update my blog or people would have thought I was dead.
This situation is a little different. No one knows how much time I have left. I hope it is YEARS but at the same time I have to be realistic.
Shelli, That’s why I asked Karl to do it because Dude wouldn’t know what to do either. It’s a good idea to make someone you trust have power of blog.
Lala, I think of Cancerbaby often and she came to mind when I first thought of this. I couldn’t put this on Dude. He’s already going to have to deal with two girls. My blog would be too much. He agreed that getting in touch with Karl was much easier.
EDW, I know that my daughters are too young to read my blog but if they were older and they were curious to read it then I’d want them to have that opportunity.
Geeky Tai-Tai, It’s just one of those things we never think of until a situation like this comes up. You are impressively organized, I must say.
Valerie, That’s fantastic that you already have a plan in place!
Tawnya, Thank you and thank you.
Christine, I’m hoping I’m around to blog for a long time too but at the same time I have to be realistic about my situation. I’m glad you enjoy reading
Hilly, I have a black turban that could use some bedazzling however I know nothing about bedazzling. If you do…I’ll send it to you and you can rock it out.
Karl, I’ve seen “My Life” and the very thought of that movie just makes me cry. I’ve been wanting to make videos for the girls but then that means I’m accepting the fact that I’m not going to be here when they need me.
I can’t go there yet.
I’ve thought about some video posts too but I’m thinking that I’m starting to look sick and I don’t want to be remembered that way.
HeatherK, How could I not be funny in some sort of demented way?
I’m glad you received the bracelets!
annie, You know it makes me very sad too. It’s not something I want to happen but it’s something that realistically could happen sooner than later.
I’m not going down without a fight though.
I just felt that I couldn’t leave a community of bloggers hanging if something did happen.
Diz, I don’t know how many readers I actually have but who knows but the time I’m ready to kick I could be down to one. I just feel better knowing there’s someone to post my final words to the bloggoworld.
“My Life” is a gut-wrenching movie.
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No one knows I have a blog. I mean NO ONE. If I decide not to write on it anymore, I’ll say so on the blog. Otherwise, if I’m gone, well then … I’m gone.
I can’t talk about what you should or shouldn’t do. Because I’m chickenshit. I’m one of those people who won’t buy insurance when I fly because well, I’m certain to be doomed if I did buy it. That’s just the way my brain rolls.
So, I refuse to believe the worst for you. Nor do I as a reader want to feel that you “owe” it to me or anyone else to tidy things up if you leave the earth.
If you stop blogging, I would prefer to think that you beat the cancer, dumped all of us (readers) and went on to live your life to the fullest.
I can’t comprehend anything else. And I don’t know why I feel this way. I don’t know you personally. But I want everyone who reads your words to always have hope, be positive, and give you all the strength you’ll need to beat this. And I believe in my heart of hearts that you will beat this. Or at least be in remission for the next 20 years or so.
But the other alternative? I won’t let that thought into my head because all I want for you and your family is joy after the struggle.
Boy, can I ramble, huh? LOL
Virtual hugs
Matties last blog post..I Fixed It!
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You look fine, babe. You’ve taught me something in the last few months. Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Should the worst come to bear, your kids are not going to care what you think you look like should you choose to make videos. They’re just going to remember their Mom, who they love dearly.
In the end, of course, you do what you need to do for YOU. And for your family.
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Yes, I think it would be good to have a final farewell if the time came that it was warranted – but not because you owe anyone anything. Rather more simply that you really wanted to say it. But a prewritten post so your spouse doesn’t have to do it would be priority one. I can’t imagine what it would do to my husband if he had to write one for me. (hence if my blog just vanishes one day without any goodbye, that is what happened to me – I’ll be gone too.)
Kyras last blog post..An Outsider In
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My friend Nattie passed away from cancer a year ago this month. Her family updates her blog with old posts to remember her by and other news. Here’s the link:
http://nattierosewrites.com/mt/
And I don’t think it’s morbid to think about at all. Mainly because of the quote at the beginning of your post.
My neighbor’s mother had planned out her entire funeral, down to the food she wanted served. We’re all going to die someday, so why not plan the things we would want planned?
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Lisa, It has been a while since I have conversed with you. I wasnt sure I wanted to share given your current circumstances but my wife passed away on june 6th. She fought long and hard and i am greatful she is no longer suffering. The reason I am comment now is your blog today illustrates one of several dilemnas I face. The first is what to do about her blog. She didn’t blog particularly often but she did blog enough that there are a few posts. http://ccpita.blogspot.com/
The other dilemna i face is what to do about her myspace page.
I would be open to listening to any suggestions you or your readers would offer. I have not done much with either, neither was a priority compared to the other tasks I have had. Hope things are going well for you, thank you for the advice, and fight hard like my wife did. somebody has to beat the odds, Andy
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I agree with what Blonde just said. Plus, it relieves your family of that burden of trying to decide what you would want.
Shellis last blog post..Insomnia
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hearing you on karl’s show was a great intro to you and your blog.
PHILLY!!!!!!!
Anonymous City Girls last blog post..The Plans Come into Focus
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Yeah, I can see how Karl would be a good option… He just feels “right” for the job. And getting a last word in, in the event that it would happen (shudder) would be good!
DutchBitchs last blog post..She’s arriving today!!!
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i lost 2 bloggie friends to illnesses. in both cases someone was able to let us know what occurred. that way, we were able to lift their families up in prayer and keep their memory strong.
shes last blog post..A Sad Heart
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Mattie, When I first started blogging three years ago NO ONE knew I had a blog either. It was under an anonymous pseudonym because I would have died had someone found it. I had a lot of steam to blow off back then.
Thinks changed over the years and posts got deleted. Now my MOM has the URL for this blog.
What I’m trying to say is that you never know…you could EVOLVE.
After three years I can’t imagine NOT blogging. It’s just become part of what I do. Nor do I want anyone to give up hope but at the same time we have to remain realistic.
Death is not an easy topic to talk about but I’d rather have my affairs in order NOW than not have a plan and leave everyone scrambling.
Call me anally organized.
Virtual hugs to you…although you live close enough to come give me a REAL hug.
Karl, You are really too kind. I look in the mirror and see SICK ME. If I put on makeup then I see SICK ME but covered up…so that passes.
I’m glad someone is learning something from this mess. I know I’ve learned the same thing. DO IT TODAY. When I wake up each morning I’m like, “COOL, I’m still HERE!”
You are right, the girls aren’t going to care as long as they have the memory of me. I know they have also learned a lot of lessons about family through this.
Kyra, Yes, I can’t imagine Dude trying to think of what to say. He always tells me that I’m better than him at putting things into words than he is…which is why I get stuck with all cards, letters and thank you cards.
With your blog on Blogger won’t it be there forever though? Or do they delete it after so much time of inactivity?
BlondeBlogger, O.K. this had me in absolute tears. Nattie’s family gets it totally. And I think that my sister, Sister D, gets it. Maybe she could work with Karl on learning WordPress and decide what to do with my blog after my final posts are posted.
No one understands what goes on in my head better than my sister and she knows how much my blog means to me.
As far as my memorial service, because I want to be cremated, I know what music I want played and have thought about burning CDs for the music I want played for the gathering afterwards.
Lots of Rolling Stones, Metallica and Foo Fighters.
In fact I’d like someone, Sister D, to play “Home” by the Foo Fighters at my Memorial Service.
I’d also like a Rolling Stones Tongue pinata at the gathering afterwards.
Shelli, Like I said to Blonde Blogger. Guess I should figure out how to get that pinata made now.
Is there a place to get custom made pinatas?
Anonymous City Girl, Glad you enjoyed the show.
YO PHILLY!
Dutch Bitch, He is right for the job, isn’t he. Karl is like a loyal, upstanding blogcitizen. Of course these are just plans. It’s always good to have a back up plane.
She, I’m sorry that you’ve lost even one blogger friend. Did other bloggers attend their funerals? I’ve often wondered that if I passed away would other bloggers would actually come to my Memorial Service.
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Andy, I’m so sorry to hear about your wife and I will email you privately.
Obviously her blog is the last thing you would think of which is why I’m trying to make it easier on my husband just in case.
Her passing just makes me even more determined to fight harder…
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