From the category archives:

Cancer Sucks

I still think about Lisa every day, much like a lot of you, I’m sure. Just yesterday, I got a friend recommendation from Facebook, based on some mutual friends that Lisa and I share. It’s kind of an odd sensation seeing Lisa pop up on Facebook, like sad and sweet all at the same time. Of course, there’s no way in hell I’ll ever remove her from Facebook or Twitter.

Got an email from Dude (John) and wanted to share it with all of you.

Karl


Sorry it took so long to get back to you but I’ve been going nuts with phone calls from bill collectors, lawyers, social security, banks, etc. The girls both received their First Communion on May 9th. They were both so beautiful. I know Lisa was proud of them because I definitely felt her presence. We also had a nice Easter, even though there was an empty feeling inside.

The Devry University Alumni Association (Lisa graduated from there) held a Cancer awareness and Magic show event on April 3rd to benefit our family. I received a nice check from them and we are all so grateful for their thoughtfulness. Lisa definitely made an impact on them, too.

They have also decided to make it an annual Cancer Awareness and magic show event with the proceeds going to set up a scholarship in Lisa’s memory. Talk about being moved to tears. It took me all weekend to come up with just the right words to say thank you.

Christine ended up adopting Lisa’s iPhone and uses it all the time (actually, we’ve been both using it). She knows more about that phone than I do. Cameron is going to be testing for her Black Belt in September and I should be going for mine in December.

Christine has also joined the ATA Leadership program and has been selected by the owner of the school to join the SWAT team (Special Winning Attitude Team). I am so proud of both of them and I know Lisa is, too.

We also attended our first Relay for Life event at Daniel Boone High school back on June 12th. The kids lost a teacher last summer to Cancer, and she must have meant a lot to them, because they put this all together themselves and did a fantastic job. This all took place with Lisa’s grave overlooking the entire event. She attended that same high school and performed in the high school marching band on that same field. That made it even more special.

The local Berks County Cancer Society wanted me to be the key speaker, but was having an extremely difficult time coming up with the right words (I’m not a very good public speaker), and then it hit me. Everything I needed to say was right there on Lisa website, right there in front of me. The problem was, every time I went back to Clusterfook, I started reading, but was moved to tears each time. I had to tell them that it was just too soon for me to speak, and maybe I could do it next year, since this is going to be an annual event.

It was a very special night, Cameron, Christine, and I all did about 5 laps, but when they turned down the lights when it was time to light the luminaries, it really made us realize that all of these people there with us were going through, or had been going through, the same things as we did. It was a very moving experience.

Thanks to everyone for remembering Lisa and for all their love and concern for us, as well.

John (Dude)

Lisa, John, and the girls

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This is Lisa’s final post. It wasn’t completed, obviously, but the last she touched it was February 13. – Karl

Back in June, Sister D shaved my hair the morning after my first chemo cycle.  In fact a few days later, Karl shaved his hair in solidarity.  (Miss you Karl!)

When I think about that morning now there’s one thing that sticks out in my memory…courage.  I remember the courage it took to have my younger sister shave off all of my hair.  It also took courage to record it and post it on the Internet.

Since that time I’ve been wearing turbans on my head and occassionally I wear a wig.  But recently my hair has started growing back in.  Just a little bit and it’s white in some places.  Me, with white hair!

Well, the other night I asked Dude if he could track down a certain black turban upstairs.  He said “sure” and as he started to go upstairs he asked if I was going to put the black turban on because if I was he wanted the one that was on my head to take upstairs with him.

Normally I don’t like anyone to see me without anything covering my head.  I have to ask myself , “Don’t you have any courage?”

I took the turban off and handed it to Dude.

“Look!  You have hair!  It’s starting to grow back.”

“But I look so ugly!!!”

My husband came over to me and gave me a huge hug and told me that I was beautiful.  He insisted that I stop wearing turbans immediately.  I…

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Thank You

by Secondhand Karl on March 11, 2009

in Cam, Cancer Sucks, Dude, Kidz, Teenie

I want to thank everyone again for all of the support, sympathy, donations and the food that we are receiving. Cameron, Christine and I are extremely grateful.
– Dude aka John

And we had 77 people at Lisa’s virtual memorial on Saturday. Glad that lots of you were there.

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Lisa, Dude, and the Girls

I know many of us cannot make it to Lisa’s funeral on Saturday. I’ve been reading loads of comments and emails from people who wish they could go. I thought a virtual memorial service might be the way to go for many of us.

I hope you’ll join us this Saturday afternoon at 4:00 PM Eastern, 1:00  PM Pacific, for a special show dedicated to sharing stories about Lisa. It’s a talk show at Talkshoe.com, where you can come, join in the chatroom action, call in to the show and talk about Lisa, and listen to many of Lisa’s friends do the same.

We’ll also raise more donations for Lisa’s family during the show.

If you’re not familiar with Talkshoe, go register now. It’s a fast sign-up that’ll make things much easier for you to join the show Saturday afternoon.

I’ve scheduled for two hours, though we’ll run as long as we need to.

Showtime: 4:00 PM Eastern, Saturday, March 7

Link for the show

Call in number: 724-444-7444

Please spread the word. I hope to see you there.

EDIT: Thanks to @cheekysweetie for pointing me in this direction…you can now have meals delivered to Lisa’s family through Make & Take Gourmet, which is in their local area.

Call 610-376-2006, ask for Kimberly. Tell them you’d like to have a meal delivered to Lisa Kelly’s house. Meals with 1 entree and 2 sides start at $25. They have Lisa’s address, you just have to mention what day you’d like the meal delivered. I scheduled a delivery for Friday and I know John and the girls can use all the home-cooked meals they can get.

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Obituary

by Secondhand Karl on March 3, 2009

in Cancer Sucks

Thanks to Jessica for pointing this out to me, just before I received John’s email. Lisa’s obituary is online in one of the local newspaper sites.

EDIT: From John (Dude) via email:

Karl, I am sending the link to Lisa’s obituary that appeared in today’s paper. I’d also like to send out a special thank you to everyone that has donated and for all of the kind words that I’ve been reading, not only on Clusterfook, but on blogs all across the country. It brings a smile to our faces when we see how many lives that Lisa has touched and the huge impact she has made on other cancer patients as well.

Here is the obituary. There’s also a guestbook you can sign at the above obituary site.


Lisa A. (Gift) Kelly

Lisa A. (Gift) Kelly, 42, passed away of natural causes Feb. 27, 2009, in her residence.

She was the wife of John.

Born in Meadowbrook, she was a daughter of Harrison William Gift III, Fort Washington, and Dolores (Dorsey) Krasnoff, Exeter Township.

She was a wife and mother.

She was a member of Immaculate Conception Roman Catholic Church, Douglassville.

She was a volunteer with the American Cancer Society. She was a graduate of DeVry University, Fort Washington.,

Surviving in addition to her father and mother are two daughters, Cameron and Christine, both at home.

Other survivors include her paternal grandmother, Florence (Thomas) Gift, Lower Gwynedd; her stepmother, Dolores M. (Wilson) Gift, Fort Washington; and her stepfather, Arthur S. Krasnoff, Exeter Township.

There is also her sister, Danielle M. Gift, Blacksburg, Va.

A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated Saturday at 1 p.m. in Immaculate Conception RC Church, 905 Chestnut St., Douglassville. There will be no viewing. Burial will be in Immaculate Conception Church Cemetery.

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the American Cancer Society, Berks Unit, 498 Bellevue Ave., Reading, PA 19605. Dengler Funeral Home Inc., 144 N. Spruce St., Birdsboro, is in charge of arrangements.

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Hey gang. Just got off the phone with Dude and he’s feeling brain dead and like he’s on autopilot. Understandable.

Here are the funeral arrangements for Lisa for those that wish to go or send flowers.

Lisa Gift Kelly

Saturday, March 7th

1:00 PM

Immaculate Conception church, 905 Chestnut St, Douglasville, PA

DONATIONS

Right, thanks to all of you that have emailed me and left comments requesting a way to donate to Lisa’s family. There are a couple of ways to go about this:

Use the Donation Button on Lisa’s Donations page. I’ve changed the Paypal address over to her husband’s address so he has access to the account.

Flowers are wonderful, of course, but for those that want to donate to causes close to Lisa’s heart, perhaps you’d care to view the list of organizations on her Ovarian Cancer page. A donation in her name would be great.

I hope this gives you a couple of options for those of you that want to do something more. John appreciates all the kind words and support. He says the girls are doing well.

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Just got the call from Dude. Lisa died about 45 minutes ago, at around 11:30 PM Friday night. He’s frazzled, but is thankful she’s not in pain any more.

RIP, Lisa. You’re missed already.

lisaclusterfook

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A lot of you are asking how you can help Lisa’s family and the short answer, for the time being, is I don’t know. I’m working on it. There’s a Donations page on Lisa’s blog, but after talking with the Dude on the phone, he doesn’t have access to that Paypal account, and he’s not sure if Lisa left him any notes about the account or not.

So for now, please don’t use the Donations page because I don’t know if Dude will have access to the money.

I think we’ll strive to get a new Paypal account in the near future for those that wish to help financially. Right now, Dude is really sick with a stomach virus, so the last thing he wants to do is set up bank routing information with Paypal.

Be patient and we’ll figure something out. He sounds like he’s in agony, Dude, and says he thinks Lisa is actually doing better off than he is at the moment.

For now, lots of prayers and good wishes are plenty.

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