From the category archives:

It Is What It Is

Happy Holidays From Dude and the Girls

by Secondhand Karl on December 21, 2009

in Cam, Dude, It Is What It Is, Kidz, Teenie

Lisa has been on my mind a lot of late, and I know the same is true for many of you.

Just received this from John (Dude) this morning. -Karl

Hello Everybody and Happy Holidays,

Just wanted to give everyone a short Holiday update. This has been the toughest year of my life. The holidays make it even harder, but I have no doubt in my mind that Lisa is by my side. She’s helping me through the difficult times, and smiling and enjoying the good ones alongside me, too.

With the help of family and friends, we’ve managed to somehow keep our heads up and smiles on our faces. The girls keep me busy and I’m going to make sure they have as good a Christmas as I can possibly give them.

We’ve had quite the year. Cameron and Christine both had their 1st Communions in May. It was extremely hard for me, but something that Lisa wanted. She WAS there in spirit and I could feel her right by my side.

1st Communion

When we got in the car to leave, one of Lisa’s favorite songs (The Stones – You Can’t Always Get What You Want) started playing on the radio, beginning at the very first note. That brought a smile to my face and a tear to my eye. This has occurred several other times when I was really feeling down. It’s like she’s saying, “Everything is going to be OK, I’m here with you.”

Christine Chillin' on the Beach

Thanks to Lisa’s good friend Christine, we managed to have a few days’ vacation at Ocean City, New Jersey. It’s something that we really needed at the time, and I cannot begin to thank her enough for thinking of us. We spent a couple days on the beach, and walked the boardwalk at night and had a great time.

Cameron on the Beach

More good times thanks to Lisa’s Dad…we went to a Phillie’s game in August. We not only got to see a great game, but – thanks to one of his good friends who works for the Phillies organization – we got to go upstairs to the executive offices and see the World Series trophies from 1980 and 2008! That was one of many days this year that I will never forget.

Phillies 2008 World Series Trophy

Another thing that has kept us busy is our Taekwondo classes. It gives us all a great outlet for relieving our stress and anxiety. Cameron received her Black Belt in September and I just got mine last week, just in time for Christmas.

Cameron Testing for Her Black Belt

My Black Belt

Cameron and I have also made the decision to continue to work towards our 2nd Degree Master’s Belts.

Christine is now working on her Red Belt and is assisting in teaching the youth classes, too. She continues to get straight A’s, and was recently invited to the Young Scholars of America class this summer.

Christine - Halloween

Cameron is doing great in school, too. You can only imagine how proud I am of them. I know Lisa is, too.

Thanks again to everyone that has helped us out through this past year, whether it be through all of your generous donations, by cooking us a few meals, taking the girls on day outings with their friends, or just by listening when I needed someone to talk to. With the support of family and friends, we will continue to grow stronger, day by day, week by week, and month by month.

Happy Holidays,

The Kellys

Summer Vacation Ocean City

My Black Belt

Tagged as: beach, black belt, Cam, Cameron, Christine, Christmas, Church, Clusterfook, communion, Dad, Dude, First Communion, happy, Happy Holidays, John, Lisa, martial arts, Phillies, red belt, Rolling Stones, taekwondo, Teenie, Teeny, update, World Series, You Can't Always Get What You Want, Young Scholars of America

{ 40 comments }

Update from Dude

by Secondhand Karl on July 10, 2009

in Cam, Cancer Sucks, Dude, It Is What It Is, Teenie

I still think about Lisa every day, much like a lot of you, I’m sure. Just yesterday, I got a friend recommendation from Facebook, based on some mutual friends that Lisa and I share. It’s kind of an odd sensation seeing Lisa pop up on Facebook, like sad and sweet all at the same time. Of course, there’s no way in hell I’ll ever remove her from Facebook or Twitter.

Got an email from Dude (John) and wanted to share it with all of you.

Karl

Sorry it took so long to get back to you but I’ve been going nuts with phone calls from bill collectors, lawyers, social security, banks, etc. The girls both received their First Communion on May 9th. They were both so beautiful. I know Lisa was proud of them because I definitely felt her presence. We also had a nice Easter, even though there was an empty feeling inside.

The Devry University Alumni Association (Lisa graduated from there) held a Cancer awareness and Magic show event on April 3rd to benefit our family. I received a nice check from them and we are all so grateful for their thoughtfulness. Lisa definitely made an impact on them, too.

They have also decided to make it an annual Cancer Awareness and magic show event with the proceeds going to set up a scholarship in Lisa’s memory. Talk about being moved to tears. It took me all weekend to come up with just the right words to say thank you.

Christine ended up adopting Lisa’s iPhone and uses it all the time (actually, we’ve been both using it). She knows more about that phone than I do. Cameron is going to be testing for her Black Belt in September and I should be going for mine in December.

Christine has also joined the ATA Leadership program and has been selected by the owner of the school to join the SWAT team (Special Winning Attitude Team). I am so proud of both of them and I know Lisa is, too.

We also attended our first Relay for Life event at Daniel Boone High school back on June 12th. The kids lost a teacher last summer to Cancer, and she must have meant a lot to them, because they put this all together themselves and did a fantastic job. This all took place with Lisa’s grave overlooking the entire event. She attended that same high school and performed in the high school marching band on that same field. That made it even more special.

The local Berks County Cancer Society wanted me to be the key speaker, but was having an extremely difficult time coming up with the right words (I’m not a very good public speaker), and then it hit me. Everything I needed to say was right there on Lisa website, right there in front of me. The problem was, every time I went back to Clusterfook, I started reading, but was moved to tears each time. I had to tell them that it was just too soon for me to speak, and maybe I could do it next year, since this is going to be an annual event.

It was a very special night, Cameron, Christine, and I all did about 5 laps, but when they turned down the lights when it was time to light the luminaries, it really made us realize that all of these people there with us were going through, or had been going through, the same things as we did. It was a very moving experience.

Thanks to everyone for remembering Lisa and for all their love and concern for us, as well.

John (Dude)

Lisa, John, and the girls

Tagged as: Cam, Cancer, Dude, John, Lisa, Relay for Life, Teenie, update

{ 43 comments }

Lisa’s Funeral Arrangements

by Secondhand Karl on March 1, 2009

in Cancer Sucks, Dude, It Is What It Is

Hey gang. Just got off the phone with Dude and he’s feeling brain dead and like he’s on autopilot. Understandable.

Here are the funeral arrangements for Lisa for those that wish to go or send flowers.

Lisa Gift Kelly

Saturday, March 7th

1:00 PM

Immaculate Conception church, 905 Chestnut St, Douglasville, PA

DONATIONS

Right, thanks to all of you that have emailed me and left comments requesting a way to donate to Lisa’s family. There are a couple of ways to go about this:

Use the Donation Button on Lisa’s Donations page. I’ve changed the Paypal address over to her husband’s address so he has access to the account.

Flowers are wonderful, of course, but for those that want to donate to causes close to Lisa’s heart, perhaps you’d care to view the list of organizations on her Ovarian Cancer page. A donation in her name would be great.

I hope this gives you a couple of options for those of you that want to do something more. John appreciates all the kind words and support. He says the girls are doing well.

Tagged as: cancer blows, Clusterfook, Donations, Dude, funeral arrangements, Lisa, supporting Lisa's family

{ 29 comments }

It’s Not Long Now

by Secondhand Karl on February 24, 2009

in Cancer Sucks, Dude, It Is What It Is, Kidz

Hey, Karl here.

After a couple of voicemails left for Lisa and not hearing back, which is unusual for her, I called the Dude a little bit ago and found out the reason. She’s not going to be returning phone calls any more, nor emails. No more Tweets from her.

She’s in the final, final stages now, people. So out of her mind with pain and drugs that she often doesn’t even recognize her husband or children. Dude says it’ll be “lucky” if she makes it through the weekend, though he also says it’ll be luckier if God takes her away sooner. She’s that bad.

I’d been riding her to get a “last post” done, but it doesn’t look like that happened. There’s a fragment of a post she was working on, which I’ll post here soon, but there won’t be any more posts from Lisa beyond that.

Those of you that live locally to Lisa and her fam, I know Dude and the kids would appreciate any meals brought over, since the last thing on Dude’s mind is cooking dinner right now. Everything is on hold now, just waiting for the final moment, and Dude is doing everything he can just to keep it together.

He says that the kids are taking it much better than he is.

My heart is just breaking. From here on out, I won’t be posting updates about Lisa on my blog…I’ll keep you posted here, of course. I’ve been getting an inordinate amount of traffic and email from you folks hoping to hear news. I answer it all, but it may not be instantaneous.

If you’re of the praying sort, pray that Lisa doesn’t suffer much more. Pray for her family.

Tagged as: Cancer, Cancer Sucks, Clusterfook, Dude, It Is What It Is, Kidz

{ 226 comments }

Regrets

by Lisa on February 1, 2009

in Cancer Sucks, It Is What It Is

There is a small segment of my family and my friends who can’t handle that I’m dying.

I understand. I get it.

I believe they will regret cutting me out of their lives now instead of actually letting me die and then taking the time to grieve. However, I realize that we all deal with death in our own way.

After all, the doctor told me last week that I have anywhere from a few weeks to a few months to live.

It would freak ME out to talk to someone over the weekend only to find out they died the following Wednesday.

My point is that I’m hurt and part of me wants feel that I’m entitled to be a little selfish right now. Like I can stand here with my hands on my hips and tell people that enough is enough.

Instead I’ll focus on the family and friends who have come out in droves, come out of the woodwork and have been faithfully supporting me on a daily basis. I love all of you for everything you unselfishly do for my family and me.

To those who can’t do it, I hope you don’t regret that decision some day. I still love you and I’m still here. It’s not too late to take advantage of the time I have left.

Tagged as: Cancer Sucks, It Is What It Is

{ 71 comments }

Not Even Chemo Can Keep Me Down

by Lisa on November 4, 2008

in It Is What It Is

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election. ~Bill Vaughan

I went to chemotherapy yesterday and thankfully my blood levels were passable.

This morning I woke up feeling a little, well a lot queasy but I wasn’t going to let that deter me from getting out and voting. I felt so excited that Election Day was FINALLY here, almost as excited as Christmas morning!

Dude drove Teenie to school this morning because we made 20 Whoopie Pies yesterday for her class. Yes, that’s what I do when I come home from chemo…make Whoopie Pies for five hours. I didn’t get to taste them but they looked disgustingly sweet.

On his way home from taking Teenie to school, Dude swung by the polls to see how crowded it was. He flew home. He walked in the door and said “Let’s Go!” So, I threw on my sneakers and out the door we went.

By the time we got down to the polls there was a long line and I thought I was going to lose it. Thankfully it went by fast, like 15 minutes. It didn’t matter to me because I was going to vote no matter what!

Then it was my turn. The curtain closed behind me. And there was my candidate…the one I’ve been waiting to cast my vote for for months. FINALLY, I was able to cast my vote for Barack Obama. I think I may have squeed. Dude also cast his vote for Obama.

I can’t tell you how good it feels to be a part of such a huge election. If you are registered to vote, get out there and do it! I did!

Tagged as: Chemotherapy, election, Obama, vote

{ 27 comments }

Help, I Need Somebody

by Lisa on October 10, 2008

in Cancer Sucks, It Is What It Is

I’m very frustrated. I’m here at the hospital in the infusion center starting my third new treatment. As my infusion started I wrote this very emotional post about how I’ve lost all the hope I once had.

The part about my complete emotional breakdown in front of the oncology nurse was a stellar piece of writing. Seriously, is there anything better than reading about me teetering on the verge of a nervous breakdown? Or the fact that the nurse wants to refer me to the hospital psychologist?

Really, that was sweet of her but I have a therapist I’ve been seeing off and on for seven years. She’s incredible and she helped my family deal with the death of Dude’s mom. I love her. The nurse just gave me the nudge I needed to give her a call.

However I tried posting from my iPhone and something went wonkafied. You should now thank God that you’ve been spared the spewing of my hopelessness and despair. Because seriously, who wants to read that crap.

To be honest, I’m tired of my own attitude and whining. Even though my closest friends have said over and over, “Lisa, if anyone has something to whine about it’s you.”

Bullshit. To my nearest and dearest friends…I love all of you but please, I’m begging you to revoke the “all access whining” pass you have given me this past month. It’s time for you to tell me to get out of my shit, O.K.?

When I get home from chemo today I’m making a call to my therapist. It’s all well and good that I took care of the medication aspect last month but that only addressed the physical part of depression. Like all diseases depression is multi-faceted…physical, emotional and spiritual.

Time to take care of the emotional part of both cancer and depression. I’m an adult and I can admit when I need help. I’m also not ashamed of it in any way either. In fact, I think it’s a travesty when people feel weak or shame in seeking out therapy. It can be life saving.

What do you think about therapy? Would you feel ashamed if needed counseling? Do you judge other people for seeking help? If you do judge them, why?

Tagged as: Cancer Sucks, chemothetapy, Depression

{ 53 comments }

The Latest News

by Lisa on October 3, 2008

in Cancer Sucks, It Is What It Is

Seven months ago I wrote a post that broke my heart to write and I feel like this is no different. In fact seven months ago I swore that this blog wouldn’t turn into a cancer blog but cancer has taken over my life. It’s effected every single facet of my life and so it’s also taken over my blog.

I really wish I didn’t have to tell you this. I wish I had better news but the truth is that I’m not responding to chemotherapy. It seems I’ve been fighting a losing battle.

Next week my doctor will try a third type of chemotherapy. He’s not sure if it will work.

Please don’t tell me you are sorry because I just can’t handle that right now. Like I asked you seven months ago, I’d like to ask you now…what are you grateful for? I’m grateful that I’m still here.

So, let’s talk about gratitude today, O.K.?

Tagged as: Cancer Sucks, Chemotherapy, Gratitude

{ 73 comments }

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