From the category archives:

Kidz

Happy Holidays From Dude and the Girls

by Secondhand Karl on December 21, 2009

in Cam, Dude, It Is What It Is, Kidz, Teenie

Lisa has been on my mind a lot of late, and I know the same is true for many of you.

Just received this from John (Dude) this morning. -Karl

Hello Everybody and Happy Holidays,

Just wanted to give everyone a short Holiday update. This has been the toughest year of my life. The holidays make it even harder, but I have no doubt in my mind that Lisa is by my side. She’s helping me through the difficult times, and smiling and enjoying the good ones alongside me, too.

With the help of family and friends, we’ve managed to somehow keep our heads up and smiles on our faces. The girls keep me busy and I’m going to make sure they have as good a Christmas as I can possibly give them.

We’ve had quite the year. Cameron and Christine both had their 1st Communions in May. It was extremely hard for me, but something that Lisa wanted. She WAS there in spirit and I could feel her right by my side.

1st Communion

When we got in the car to leave, one of Lisa’s favorite songs (The Stones – You Can’t Always Get What You Want) started playing on the radio, beginning at the very first note. That brought a smile to my face and a tear to my eye. This has occurred several other times when I was really feeling down. It’s like she’s saying, “Everything is going to be OK, I’m here with you.”

Christine Chillin' on the Beach

Thanks to Lisa’s good friend Christine, we managed to have a few days’ vacation at Ocean City, New Jersey. It’s something that we really needed at the time, and I cannot begin to thank her enough for thinking of us. We spent a couple days on the beach, and walked the boardwalk at night and had a great time.

Cameron on the Beach

More good times thanks to Lisa’s Dad…we went to a Phillie’s game in August. We not only got to see a great game, but – thanks to one of his good friends who works for the Phillies organization – we got to go upstairs to the executive offices and see the World Series trophies from 1980 and 2008! That was one of many days this year that I will never forget.

Phillies 2008 World Series Trophy

Another thing that has kept us busy is our Taekwondo classes. It gives us all a great outlet for relieving our stress and anxiety. Cameron received her Black Belt in September and I just got mine last week, just in time for Christmas.

Cameron Testing for Her Black Belt

My Black Belt

Cameron and I have also made the decision to continue to work towards our 2nd Degree Master’s Belts.

Christine is now working on her Red Belt and is assisting in teaching the youth classes, too.  She continues to get straight A’s, and was recently invited to the Young Scholars of America class this summer.

Christine - Halloween

Cameron is doing great in school, too. You can only imagine how proud I am of them. I know Lisa is, too.

Thanks again to everyone that has helped us out through this past year, whether it be through all of your generous donations, by cooking us a few meals, taking the girls on day outings with their friends, or just by listening when I needed someone to talk to. With the support of family and friends, we will continue to grow stronger, day by day, week by week, and month by month.

Happy Holidays,

The Kellys

Summer Vacation Ocean City

My Black Belt

Tagged as: beach, black belt, Cam, Cameron, Christine, Christmas, Church, Clusterfook, communion, Dad, Dude, First Communion, happy, Happy Holidays, John, Lisa, martial arts, Phillies, red belt, Rolling Stones, taekwondo, Teenie, Teeny, update, World Series, You Can't Always Get What You Want, Young Scholars of America

{ 40 comments }

Thank You

by Secondhand Karl on March 11, 2009

in Cam, Cancer Sucks, Dude, Kidz, Teenie

I want to thank everyone again for all of the support, sympathy, donations and the food that we are receiving. Cameron, Christine and I are extremely grateful.
– Dude aka John

And we had 77 people at Lisa’s virtual memorial on Saturday. Glad that lots of you were there.

Tagged as: Cam, Clusterfook, Dude, Lisa, Teenie

{ 25 comments }

It’s Not Long Now

by Secondhand Karl on February 24, 2009

in Cancer Sucks, Dude, It Is What It Is, Kidz

Hey, Karl here.

After a couple of voicemails left for Lisa and not hearing back, which is unusual for her, I called the Dude a little bit ago and found out the reason. She’s not going to be returning phone calls any more, nor emails. No more Tweets from her.

She’s in the final, final stages now, people. So out of her mind with pain and drugs that she often doesn’t even recognize her husband or children. Dude says it’ll be “lucky” if she makes it through the weekend, though he also says it’ll be luckier if God takes her away sooner. She’s that bad.

I’d been riding her to get a “last post” done, but it doesn’t look like that happened. There’s a fragment of a post she was working on, which I’ll post here soon, but there won’t be any more posts from Lisa beyond that.

Those of you that live locally to Lisa and her fam, I know Dude and the kids would appreciate any meals brought over, since the last thing on Dude’s mind is cooking dinner right now. Everything is on hold now, just waiting for the final moment, and Dude is doing everything he can just to keep it together.

He says that the kids are taking it much better than he is.

My heart is just breaking. From here on out, I won’t be posting updates about Lisa on my blog…I’ll keep you posted here, of course. I’ve been getting an inordinate amount of traffic and email from you folks hoping to hear news. I answer it all, but it may not be instantaneous.

If you’re of the praying sort, pray that Lisa doesn’t suffer much more. Pray for her family.

Tagged as: Cancer, Cancer Sucks, Clusterfook, Dude, It Is What It Is, Kidz

{ 226 comments }

Telling the Girls

by Lisa on January 24, 2009

in Acid Reflux Moments, Cancer Sucks, Kidz

Life in hospice is going well. I can’t say enough about how nice the hospice nurses and other hospice workers are. The social worker has been a Godsend in helping Dude and in helping us tell the girls what’s going on.

Telling Cam and Teeny the truth, that I’m not going to get better, was the most heart breaking things I’ve ever had to do. It is NOT easy to tell your children that you are dying. Listening to them cry was one of the worst things I’ve ever heard. Not being able to fix it is the worst feeling in the world.

Dude and I decided to deliver the news to the girls last Saturday afternoon, a few hours before they had to go to church. Teeny has been consistently lighting a candle for me every week and she finds a lot of comfort in going to mass with Dude. Cam doesn’t complain about going nor does she get real excited. Dude and I thought they might find some extra comfort in going to church after talking to us earlier in the afternoon.

I’ve been too sick to go to mass for a while so Dude takes the girls by himself. He said that each girl was snuggled up as close and as tight to his side as they could be during mass. And of course, Teeny lit a candle as she always does. When she got home she told me that she still believes in the hope that I’m going to get better. God, how I wish that little ray of sunshine was right.

It’s not that I’ve given up hope but I’ve accepted my situation. I still take it day by day because I don’t know how I’m going to feel day by day. Take today for example. I might sleep all day long like I did on Tuesday OR I might feel fantastic and full of energy like I did on Friday. Every day is a crap shoot and I’ve just got to roll with it.

During the week the kids asked questions and spent more time “taking care” of me. In fact there were arguments over who was going to take care of me so I had to schedule their time out. They’ve also been busy cleaning and helping around the house.

My kids are strong but they have been dealing with cancer in their lives for five years. I hope the lessons they’ve learned and continue to learn make them stronger and don’t scar them. Although how do you tell an 8 and 11 year old there’s a lesson to be learned when their mom dies?

Well, I’ve got them surrounded by great people and a good support system that I hope pulls through for them. That’s how you do it.

Tagged as: Cam, Cancer Sucks, hospice, Teeny

{ 133 comments }

A Note For Santa

by Lisa on December 24, 2008

in Cancer Sucks, Dude, Kidz

My youngest daughter is eight years old and in the third grade.  Going by those statistics I’d wage a bet that this is the last year she’s going to believe in Santa Claus.  In order to prove that he exists she tests him every year by throwing  in a monkey wrench on her list.  This year is no different.

I dragged my sick body out of bed and just spent the past hour and a half on her monkey wrench of 2008.

This year she crafted a list of gifts for Dude and I to give her and a separate list of gifts for Santa to give her…along with “A Note For Santa”.

Santa, please may I have a picture of your reindeer, the North Pole, you, Mrs. Claus, and all the Elfs.

Can you please take me on a trip to the North Pole before you leave?

You can wake me up, I promise I won’t tell anyone except my dad, mom and my sister!!  I will just show the pictures to them, no one else!!

I took care of the pictures by using Google and printing them out and putting them in frames.  I wrote a letter to her like I was Santa and explained that I just didn’t have the time to take her to the North Pole with all the gifts I have to deliver.  Of course I let her know that it didn’t mean I, Santa, didn’t love her…maybe we could do the ride another night.

I hope she buys that.

I’ve never seen her so excited about Christmas as she is this year.  At 7:00 am this morning she couldn’t sit still and said, “Mom I’m just too excited to sit still…this is going to be the longest day ever!!!”

As sick as I feeling right now, I’m just as excited about this Christmas as she is.  If I had to write a note to Santa I’d just thank him for giving me a child like Teenie and Cam, and a husband like Dude to spend the holiday with.

Happy Holidays,

Lisa

Tagged as: Cam, Cancer Sucks, Christmas, Dude, Santa, Teeny

{ 26 comments }

First Day of School Blues

by Lisa on August 26, 2008

in Cam, Cancer Sucks, It Is What It Is, Kidz, Teenie

So today we started another school year. Teenie started third grade. Cam started sixth grade. Cam was the tough one to let go of today. The image of her face is still burning in my mind.

I know, I know…I talked about this yesterday but I sent my baby off to Junior High with teenagers and she’s just 11 years old. If I wasn’t sick, then I’m sure I’d be drinking vodka martinis at 11:00 am in the morning. Well, maybe that’s extreme but I’m worried sick over how she’s doing. Don’t tell me she’s fine either…it’s my job to worry about her.

This morning Teenie was throwing a fit over what to wear as it was time for Cam to leave for the bus. Earlier I had agreed to drive her up the street to the bus stop and hang out in my car until the bus came. I asked Cam if Dude could take her so that I could avert Teenie’s fashion crisis and she said, “No, I want you to take me.” She wanted her mom…she wanted me.

We drove up the street to the bus stop and Cam got out of the car. She looked across the street. She started walking over to the bus stop and then turned around. She came back to the car so, I unrolled my window. I looked at her face and there were tears in her eyes. I could see how scared she was too. She didn’t know any of the older kids at the bus stop.

Just as I was reassuring her that it was O.K. one of the girls in her grade was walking up the street. Cam turned around and ran across the street to be with her. Still, I can’t get the image of her teary eyes out of my mind.

For me it’s bigger than just the first day of school. It’s about being sick and the real possibility that I won’t be here when Cam graduates from high school in six years. Or that I won’t be here to see her off to college. What if she has those same doubts and fears? Dude can’t fix it like I can.

I realize that I’m making it a bigger issue than it needs to be but I’ve been walking around the house with a huge lump in my throat all morning. So to me it is a big issue.

I don’t want to have cancer anymore. I just want it to go away. I’m sorry that I’m not very inspirational today. I think getting up at 5:30 am in order to get two children ready for school has me a little cranky.

Send candy corn.

Tagged as: Cam, candy corn, Teenie

{ 22 comments }

The Open House From Hell

by Lisa on August 21, 2008

in Kidz

What the teacher is, is more important than what he teaches. ~Karl Menninger

Every year since Cam has been in school I go through the annual Open House at the elementary school which happens at the end of August.  Cam is attending Junior High this year so I only had to attend the third grade Open House for Teenie.  Well, last night was the 2008-2009 Open House.

When the notice came home with Teenie’s class assignment she was a little disappointed by the teacher she was assigned to.  I asked her why and she told me the teacher yells at her students a lot and she is a very loud yeller.  Teenie also told me this teacher could be heard yelling not only from the halls but from other classrooms…she is that loud.

Knowing that my child hates to be yelled out and is pretty sensitive about yelling, I wasn’t feeling warm and fuzzy about this teacher and I hadn’t even met her yet.  Yet I went to the Open House with an open mind.

Then I met the teacher…Mrs. K.  I introduced myself to her and she immediately directed me to a bunch of sign-up sheets.  Like, “Hi Mrs. Kelly…please go to the sign up sheets and sign up for A, B and C.”  O.K. whatever.  Then I looked at the first sign-up sheet.  It listed dates and times for Parent-Teacher conferences at the end of the first quarter…that take place in NOVEMBER!

Hello?  November?  How am I supposed to know what my schedule will be the week of Thanksgiving?  We didn’t even start school yet.  So, she’s a little anal retentive I thought.  On to the next sign-up sheet.

The next sign-up sheet was for the Christmas party.  The CHRISTMAS PARTY that takes place the third week of DECEMBER, like when we have the possibility of having snow on the ground.  There I am standing there in shorts and a T-shirt, trying to decide what my child is going to bring in for the class Christmas party that takes place in DECEMBER.

I really wanted to make a scene and tell the teacher my kid is Jewish but considering we just had her baptized Catholic I realized that would have be really wrong but come on.  Planning the Christmas party before the school year has even started is a little extreme, isn’t it???

So, then there was one last sign-up sheet and I thought “oh dear God, is this going to make my head spin?” Sure enough, it not only made my head spin but I think my head actually lifted up off my shoulders and rotated.  This sign-up sheet was for the VALENTINE’S DAY party that take place in FEBRUARY 2009.  Here I was signing my child up for an event that takes place next year!  I don’t even know if I’ll be here next year and I’m committing my child to bringing in potato chips!!!

After I finished making all of these commitments for the year I found a chair and waited for the teacher’s presentation which she made all nice and neat in Power Point.  She gave us her classroom rules and explained that she would spend two weeks on the rules because she must CONTROL our children.  She said it like they are mutant savages that we have failed to discipline.

Mrs. K. then explained the Agenda Books our children will bring home on a daily basis that contain our children’s daily homework assignments.  If our children do not have a “good behavior” stamp in their agenda book we are to ask them “why” and we are to call the teacher.  As parents we are to sign the agenda book and as a reward we get a smiley stamp as a “thank you”.  Oh boy, I’m excited.

The school year hasn’t even started and I HATE this teacher.  Thank GOD my child is very well behaved, extremely smart, has an IEP in place because she is in the gifted program, follows rules to the “T” and has always been liked by her teachers.  Otherwise I would dread this school year.  The amount of homework she will have to do as a third grader is INSANE but she’s a good student so it won’t be a problem.

Why does a teacher feel the need to be such an insane bitch to a class of third graders?  Unfortunately for her she’s got the parent from hell in her classroom…that would be me.

She wanted all of the parents to stay and fill out a bunch of paperwork before they left but I wasn’t feeling good so I told her I had to leave.  She said, “Oh, let me get you some water!”  I thought, “Lady, if water can cure cancer then you are in the WRONG profession!”  I mean, I was only standing there in front of her with a turban on my head, pale as a ghost.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very, very, very supportive of teachers but this one, this one?  This one is completely off her nut!

Tagged as: Kidz, School, Teenie

{ 34 comments }

What A Day

by Lisa on August 4, 2008

in Dude, Kidz

Sunday was more than I could have imagined it to be, more than I could have dreamed and every thing I hoped it would be. There aren’t words to describe what happened to the four of us but it was extremely powerful. I’m still soaking it all up today.

Thank you for all your well wishes. It was truly an amazing experience to renew our wedding vows in the church and to have our children baptized at the same time. At the end of the ceremony the Monsignor said a healing prayer that left me in tears.

So, today I’ve been relaxing and thinking about what a wonderful day our family had.  One that brought us closer to God. One that we will never forget.

Tagged as: Baptism, Cam, Church, Dude, God, Kidz, Teenie

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