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Monkey Bastards

Unemployment is like a headache or a high temperature - unpleasant and exhausting but not carrying in itself any explanation of its cause. ~William Henry Beveridge

A few weeks ago I was laid off from my job as an administrative assistant. It was a banner day because it was the same day I found out I have a rare form of stomach cancer. I felt like throwing myself a fucking party but instead I called the temp agency that placed me at the job and asked what other positions they had available. The person I was working with told me she had no administrative assistant positions but she noticed I had “customer service” experience.

STOP RIGHT THERE…

That’s exactly what I told her. I told her that I didn’t spend $90,000 on a college education so that I could go back to a customer service position and that was PAST experience. I explained that my degree was in Business Administration with a concentration in Human Resources and that I am also a graduate student studying for my M.B.A. I’ve done time chained to a phone like a prison monkey, which is exactly why I went to college to get my degree.

Her response to my mini-tirade was that there were no administrative assistant positions available but that I should call back the following week…the week after my last day of work. Which I did. I called the Monday after I was laid off.

At that time my recruiter, Ann, told me that she had an administrative assistant position she thought would be a good fit for me. GREAT! or so I thought. I was HONEST and told her that I have cancer. I explained that my now former assignment was cool with the fact that I was going to need a day off here and there for chemotherapy. I also explained that I WANTED to work but I would need every THIRD Thursday off for chemotherapy. IT IS NOT NEGOTIABLE.

Ann asked me if my doctor said it was O.K. for me to work. Well, he never said I couldn’t work and I would like to work as long as I am physically able. AT NO TIME did I ever say that I REFUSE TO WORK. The only thing I did say was that I was UNAVAILABLE for interviews the day I had to go for chemotherapy. It’s kind of hard to go to an interview when you are hooked up to an I.V. for SIX FUCKING HOURS!

So, Ann asked me to send my resume to her but to send it to the general email address at the temp agency because she was leaving for maternity leave any second. She told me Heidi would be working with me going forward. I have the distinct feeling that Heidi is either overloaded or a complete deadbeat because my phone hasn’t rang. Either that or my resume got lost in limbo because no one ever called me back about the job.

OR Ann heard “cancer” and stashed my file way in the back of the drawer.

In the meantime I filed for unemployment because I lost my job due to no fault of my own. In fact I left the assignment with a letter of RECOMMENDATION. That tells me I did a half decent job. Better yet…I emailed a copy of that letter to the temp agency!!!

So…WTF???

On Saturday I received a letter from Unemployment office stating the amount of money I would receive on a weekly basis and felt some relief. The relief was SHORT LIVED! There was another letter stating that the unemployment had been contested by the temp agency for REFUSAL TO WORK!!!!!

REFUSAL TO FUCKING WORK???

ARE THEY KIDDING ME???

Well Ann has gone on maternity leave but I hope she is ready to find a babysitter for her newborn baby because she is going to have to make an appearance in court to recount our conversation because I am contesting the living HELL out of this.

I WAS LET GO FROM A JOB DUE TO NO FAULT OF MY OWN.

I CALLED THE TEMP AGENCY SEVERAL TIMES TO GET ANOTHER ASSIGNMENT.

THEY DID NOT PROVIDE ME WITH AN ASSIGNMENT.

WHERE IS THE “REFUSAL”?

You CANNOT imagine how pissed off I am. Poor Dude has had to listen to it all weekend because I am furious. Livid. Extremely and explosively angry.

I CANNOT wait to call Heidi at the temp agency Monday morning. God hath no fury than an angry, unemployed woman with cancer…this angry, unemployed woman with cancer. And before I make that call to Heidi you better believe your sweet ass I’m calling my attorney.

The $90,000 degree is finally going to pay off…thank you God…because I’m finally going to use it to my OWN ADVANTAGE. I’ve absolutely had it with this kind of crap.

Good Morning Heidi…hope you had a FABULOUS WEEKEND because I’m about to blow the lid off of your Monday! Coffee and donuts anyone?

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