The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend. ~Chuck Palahniuk
First of all, I feel like I owe you an apology. It’s not like me not to respond to each and every comment left here. Because you took the time to share your thoughts with me I really want and believe me, have something to share with you. It’s that I’m emotionally exhausted at the moment. I hope that you can understand and will continue to offer your support.
It looks like your kindness and generosity are going to send my beautiful daughters to Disney World. I have no idea what exactly is happening but there are a lot of people working together to make a dream come true. I haven’t said anything to Cam or Teenie yet.
In fact, I haven’t even told them I have cancer again.
They are aware that I’m sick and they know I’m going to a number of doctor’s appointments. I may be very brave in my fight against cancer but heart broken that I have to tell those two wonderful little girls that I’m sick again. When I think about all of the things they’ve missed out on in their lives because I’ve had cancer…I start to sob.
Like now.
I don’t lie to my children when they ask me questions because I keep it real. I know what they are going to ask me…”Mommy, are you going to die?”
The truth is…I don’t know. This time…I don’t know. It’s complicated. I don’t want to die. I want to fight and I’m going to fight. I am determined to win…kick ass and survive…but I can’t tell my children with any type of certainty that I’m going to be just fine.
As a parent I’ve never been put in this position. As a child I’ve never had to deal with such a situation. I’m at a loss.
They are silly, happy girls…just last night Cam and Teen were singing the most ridiculous song…
I’m a Kung…fu…shrimp…I’m-a-naked-shrimp….
I was like WTF???
I’m a Kung…fu…shrimp…I’m-a-naked-shrimp….
In between verses I heard roars of laughter and then they sang it in another key. A minor I believe.
I’m a Kung…fu…shrimp…I’m-a-naked-shrimp….
After I heard it about 10 times I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs…”SHUT UP!!!!” but I couldn’t. I have to revel in their silliness because soon their worlds are going to be shattered with bad news.
Instead I showed them some dance moves doing my best Bruce Lee impression singing…
I’m a Kung…fu…shrimp…I’m-a-naked-shrimp….
So, we will all enjoy this last weekend of normalcy. Tonight I’m going out with my best friend to see Sonny Landreth at the Sellersville Theater. I’ve never seen Sonny play solo but only when he was with John Hiatt (who I adore!) and the Goners.
Tomorrow Dude and I will take Cam out for her free birthday breakfast at IHOP where I will watch them eat pancakes. Then we’ill go see the matinée show of Nim’s Island.
Sunday evening I’ll be seeing the Rolling Stones Shine A Light with my best friend.
Monday morning I’ll go for a biopsy. We will know next week exactly how bad the situation is but for now I say…fuck it. Let’s have fun this weekend. Let’s forget all the drama that’s going on in the world and have a good weekend.
This is the first weekend in weeks that I’m taking my sick ass out. Hell, I might even sneak up to the Coach Outlet and spend my $100 gift certificate on a new spring bag.
When I get a spare $20 I’m getting this hat.
So, I hope you don’t have the ridiculous…
I’m a Kung…fu…shrimp…I’m-a-naked-shrimp….
…in your head now. If you do, good, because it’s stuck in mine. While you are singing Kung Fu Shrimp, what are your plans? Anyone playing Guitar Hero III? I seriously need some practice.
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